The, uh, Pencil Bag Quest

Part 1

The, uh, Pencil Bag Quest (that's what it is...)

By Crystal Chameleon

All Rights Reserved - Copyright 2016

Err, that day was a great day! It was, um, Wednesday. I guess. The red pandas were all really, really happy. Their majestic pencil bag was... Oh, are you kidding me? Pencil bag isn't one word? I've been writing it that way my entire... Uh... life. Anyway, the red pandas were really happy 'cause their pencil bag was safe. It had been fought over between the red pandas and the... Giraffes for centuries... Decades. It had been fought over for decades. The majestic pencil bag held the greatest secret of... them all, I guess. That's a really trite phrase, I know. It was the biggest secret ever because no one dared to open it. Legends... um... The Myths of the Playground foretold of its deadly contents, such as Heads Up Seven Up, Pinball, Astley, and the pronunciation of the word "abominable."

The next day, however, the pencil bag disappeared... All the red pandas COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT! Not because of the pencil bag, though. They thought King Pickle, the ruler of all the red pandas, lost his sandwich while delivering packages under The Throne.

"FETCH MY WHIPPED CREAM AND JELLY SANDWICH IMMEDIATELY! THE REWARD IS 30K!!!"

All the red pandas started searching for the sandwich. Perfect, the imperfect red panda, checked the vault that stores... stored the pencil bag. Yeah, stored. It didn't fall behind the podium or anything. Perfect checked the entire vault for the pencil bag, but there was no trace of it anywhere.

"HOLY BUTTERCUPS, THE THING'S GONE," Perfect yelped.

"WHAT?" replied Perfect's half-best friend, Chew.

"THE PENCIL BAG'S GONE!!!"

"WHAT!??"

This went on for several hours.

Finally, Chew exclaimed, "I'LL JUST WALK OVER THERE!"

"WHAT!??"

Once Chew walked around the two meter long garden and walked another meter just to get to the vault, she asked, "What happened?"

Perfect responded, "The pencil bag is gone!"

"What? No, I don't believe you." Chew never believes, or believes in, Perfect.

"It's probably just behind here..." Chew gasped.

"HOLY DANDELIONS. IT REALLY IS GONE!!!!"

Perfect decided to call up the Sponge Police Department. Of red pandas. Of course.

"HhhhYELLO. Sponge Police Department," said the man on the phone.

"The pencil ba-"

"WHHHHHYOOOO TOOK IT!!??"

The man on the phone kicked down the door as he said this. Sirens blasted nearby.

"...." Chew, err, said. ... ... ... (Whadduya put there if it was just an ellipsis...?)

"...Why's that door even there? This is just a garden. And why'd you kick it open?" Chew wondered.

"THIS HERE FELLER'S GOTTA FIND THE PUNK WHHHHHHHHH....WHOO TOOK THE PENCIL BAG! AND ANYONE A'OUND'S GOT TO DO IT'S WELL," the policeman answered. (I guess.) I mean, he didn't really answer any questions... But... Err...

Perfect and Chew looked at the policeman in surprise. They never would have expected him to say or do something like he did. They assumed he was a professional cop, though, so they went along with it. They decided--BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS!

{Have you ever wanted to do something--anything--only to find you have awful hand-eye coordination? Well, don't worry any longer! NOW YOU CAN BUY THE HAND-EYE COORDINATION KIT. That's right. Now, for half the price of competing coordination kits, you can get the H.E.C.K. by calling 1-800-821-HECK, and, if you call within the next two seconds, we'll throw in a one-ounce bottle of Uncle Benny's Teflon-coated, non-stick glue... at NO extra cost! The H.E.C.K. CEO is not responsible for dizziness, vomiting, bleeding, death, bad grades, trance-like states of awareness, stuffy noses, rashes, body odor, rotting, aging, or history.}

--to get out of there as soon as possible. They fled the scene.