Dedicated to xLittleSimone for making the cover, it’s awesome!
Sam’s P.O.V
I wake up in Eric’s arms; he’s my boyfriend of two years. I smile up at him; he’s still fast asleep. I’m guessing he’s going to have a huge hangover today because he came home drunk last night. I have to watch my step because when he has a hangover he’s really moody. I squirm out of his tight grip, careful not to wake him up. I decide to go downstairs to make the two of us some breakfast.
When I’m downstairs I trip over the carpet and somehow manage to bump into the radio and turn it on. I’m about to turn it off because Eric doesn’t like it when the radio’s on, don’t ask me why, but then I hear that Mockingbird is on. It’s one of my favourite songs so I decide to leave the radio on, just while the song is on. I start breakfast and I get carried away, I forget all about the radio playing in the background. That is until I hear a very angry Eric yelling my name. I remember the radio’s on and softly curse under my breath. I turn around and mumble a quiet, “yes?”
Eric strides in the kitchen looking furious. “What did I tell you about the radio?!” I let out a whimper, shrinking back into the wall. “Well, what did I tell you?! Answer me!” “Y-you told m-me I should n-not t-turn it o-on.” I stutter. “Yes, that’s right. So why did you turn it on?” He asks me, still fuming. I’m about to answer but he cuts me off: “No! I don’t want any of your stupid excuses!” The next thing I know he slams his fist in my face, taken aback I fall down. ‘I should’ve expected that.’ I think. Eric punches me a few more times but suddenly he stops. A look of realisation spreads over his face, “Sam, baby, I’m so sorry.” He says, wrapping his arms around me. I curl up in his arms sobbing softly. He keeps apologising and I whisper back that it’s okay. “Am I forgiven?” He asks me. “Yes.” I always forgive him, no matter what. “You want to watch movies today?” I nod happily. He picks me up and sets me on the couch. I don’t mind him treating me like a little kid sometimes. He puts a DVD in and sits next to me. “I love you.” He whispers in my ear. “I love you too.” I say. ‘Keep on saying that and you might even believe it.’ An annoying little voice in my head tells me. ‘What do you mean? I love him with all my heart.’ I think. ‘Yeah, sure, why are you even with him? He beats you up for no reason at all.’ ‘He doesn’t mean it!’ Okay, I’m officially crazy; I’m having a mental argument with myself! “A penny for your thoughts, love?” Eric asks. “It’s nothing.” I reply. I cuddle into the chest of my bi-polar boyfriend and try to focus on the film, ignoring the little voices in my head.
I moved in with Eric one year ago, I was 16. My parents kicked me out and disowned me when they found I was gay and I was in an relationship with a guy who was two years older than me (yes, Eric’s two years older than me but he’s only one grade higher. He stayed back one year). Eric was already living alone and I moved in with him. I don’t know why he isn’t living with his parents but he doesn’t want to talk about it. He started hitting me soon after I moved in but I’ll never leave him for it. He doesn’t mean it. He loves me, right?
