Not with a Whimper, But with a Bang (The Bang Series #3)

Explanations

I know I've been lacking in updates, (okay not even just lacking, I sort of just dropped off the face of the earth). But I do have a good reason. And I've decided it's time I explain it to all of you so you can understand why somedays are just better than others.

I suffer from a chronic autoimmune disease called Fibromyalgia, along with anxiety, and depression. Let me explain these one by one.

1. Fibromyalgia is a common syndrome in which a person has long‑term, body‑wide pain and tenderness in the joints, muscles, tendons, and other soft tissues. Fibromyalgia has also been linked to fatigue, sleep problems, headaches, depression, and anxiety.

Sometimes Fibromyalgia completely wipes me out, and that is where I'm going to introduce The Spoon Theory.

The Spoon Theory is the idea that each day I wake with a different amount of spoons. Some days I may have 50. Other days I may have 10. And lately I'm lucky to wake with three.
Each spoon represents a task. Say I woke with three. I have to get up out of bed and head downstairs. I've used a spoon.
Now, shower? That sounds nice bit that's a whole spoon. Now I have just one.
I need to eat. And as soon as breakfast is done, so am I.
That's when the fatigue and the chronic migraine rolls in.

2. Anxiety. Few people understand what it is. But to me it is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
I worry about the future because I never have any idea what's coming next. And it scares me. So when I think about it...I have an anxiety attack.

3. Depression. It's ugly. It's my mind attacking my mind. And I can't seem to ever escape it long.
Tomorrow is my 21st birthday, and I'm going to share something very personal with all of you.
I never thought I'd make it this far.
I lost my dad when I was 12 and I almost lost my mom when I was 17. A little over a year ago I lost my heart and trust to a guy I'd been dating for almost 2 years. I was on a high for a while - living my life as I should - bit over the last 8 months I've sunk further and further into depression.
It's a deep dark pit that I can't seem to crawl out of - but I want to. And that's what's important.

My plan this year is to finish the four unfinished series I have going. The Bang, The Game, The Lost Wolf, and the sequel to Decoding You.

I ask that you be patient and kind because I need to do this my way. And while yes I could have written my stories - they wouldn't have been the type of stories you all deserve. I refuse to finish something just for the sake of finishing it.

I hope you all understand, and I hope you all accept my apologies. Because I am sorry. I've been on the other side. I know what it feels like to be a reader so in love with a story that you get angry when it's not all there. And you may lash out. But writers are people to. We have feelings. And threatening to leave us behind isn't going to encourage us - it's only going to depress us further.

So my deepest apologies for failing you as a writer - because I love every single one of you for reading for my work. For following me stories. For following me even when I've practically disappeared from life.

Have a safe and Happy New Year.

xoxo, Sara Reed