I'm questioning my sanity. How long can I keep up this gig? I love her with all my heart. Or at least some of it? Most of my heart feels empty. Cold. Broken. Unable to be fixed. I've almost gone mentally crazy. I think that loving her is the only thing keeping me going. The voices in my head beg to differ. I want them to stop. I want my depression to stop. My anxiety. My insanity. I want to love and be there for her, but what if I am too late? What if she finds another? I would die. I would mentally kill myself. Who knows. My heart broken soul might just survive.
Sorry that this is more about what I am feeling. I promise that there will be more of my lover in the next chapter.
