Wanna kill yourself?
Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You've had yet another horrible day. You're just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door and take out the suicide note you've written and rewritten over and over and over. You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab the bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother comes up and knocks on your door to tell you that dinner's ready. You don't answer; so he walks in. All he sees is that you're laying on your bed, so goes back downstairs and tells your mom. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up but she notices that something is wrong. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She's screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell dad that "Mommy is crying and sissy won't wake up." Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what's going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there's an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can't help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you... He can't handle it. He breaks down and starts crying and runs out of the school. Your friends? They're sobbing too, wondering how they never saw that anything was wrong, wishing that they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She's in shock. She can't believe it. She knew what you were going through but she never thought it would get this bad... Bad enough for you o end it. She can't cry, she can't feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom and just sinks to the floor. Shaking and screaming, but no tears come out.
It's a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there's a lot. Everyone's crying. Your little brother still doesn't know you killed yourself, he's too young. Your parents just told him that you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister. You wer supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn't stop for days.
It's two years later. The whole school talks to a therapist or a counselor at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls all have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex-boyfriend doesn't know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn't succeed like you did, but she tried... Your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did in the years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lies in bed all day. People care. You may not hink so, but they do. Your choices don't just affect you, they affect everyone. Don't end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can't get better if you give up.
-----
I'm here for ANYONE who needs to talk. I don't care who you are, I'm here for you and I love you.
I'm that best friend who tried to commit suicide and I can honestly say it's hell. Don't put anyone through this.
