My dearest Deidara,
After the war, the Leaf saw that I had no desire to fight anymore. I don't know why I didn't feel like fighting any more, I really don't. I guess it's just because there's not really much left worth fighting for.
The Leaf took full responsibility of me and took me into custody. After a few months in jail, they saw that I had no desire to try escaping. Kakashi requested that I was to be taken into his custody, and after a long month of thinking, the hokage accepted this request.
I live with Kakashi now, yet I rarely see him. I have to stay in my room, and since I have no need to eat or drink, he doesn't need to bring me anything.
Kakashi does visit me at times, although when he does everything is quiet and awkward. I don't dare say a word, I'm afraid to say anything. I'm afraid that every word will come back to haunt me later, once again.
But yet, whenever Kakashi leaves at the end of the day, I still feel regret. I feel regret for not saying anything. I promise myself I'll say something the next time, but I end up not doing it.
I'm writing these letters because it gets sort of lonely here, and writing to you helps it feel like you're still here, alive, but just far away.
I just wish you really were still here. I wish I could talk to you.
I miss you a lot.
