My dearest Deidara,
I've had a lot of time to think about everything I've done. Looking back on it, I really do think I could have had a better life if I never got tangled up with Madara's crap. Being back in this village makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious. I hate this house because it reminds me of the days my squad would return from a mission and meet up at Kakashi's place to go out to celebrate.
Every time I look out of the window, I can see the old Uchiha complex. I don't know why the village chooses to keep it there, but it brings back some horrible memories. It brings back the memories of living in my house alone, with aunt Mikoto visiting every so often. It reminds me of how lonely it felt, having no parents and having a clan that would disown you in an instant if needed.
It still pains me when I look back at all of the training I went through, but even then I was not accepted by the rest of my clan. I was practically useless before I awakened my Sharingan.
I think the only reason why my clan didn't disown me was because they sympathized me. They felt bad that I never knew my parents and I was practically left alone in the world to fend for myself. Now, I know if you heard this you'd call me an idiot and say that the Uchiha are cold, heartless people who have no compassion, but it's the exact opposite. Uchiha are actually very emotional and compassionate, I'd actually say that we are over-compassionate. We take emotions very seriously, and the reason we have such vengeful hearts is because, when something horrible happens to something we are compassionate about, it changes our whole view on everything.
Maybe that's why my attitude towards everything changed so much after you died, I honestly don't know.
God, I need out of here soon or I'm going to go crazy.
