Chapter 1: intro
I wake up feeling as if my life is over even though today will be a game changer. I slowly slump out of bed into my bathroom of the house that I have grown up in. As I look in the mirror I don't recognize myself. I see this skinny girl who is too pale compared to the rest of my home state California. I look at my light blue eyes and they look lost. I look at my light brown hair and it looks drained. How could I have let myself end up like this? Compared to a couple of years ago when my life was perfect I have lost everything but for no other reason than myself.
After I am done with my shower I quickly get dressed and start to get all of my luggage ready for travel. My dad swings into my room and gives me a big hug. He is dressed in his usual, a suit. My dad was my best friend ever since my friend Allison died. I was still upset that he couldn't take me to New York. He understands me, he was the one that taught me how to play the guitar and taught me how to sing. Throughout my whole life he has been on my side. My mother on the other hand wants different things for me. Since I never got good grades and barely passed high school she thinks that I am a failure compared to my brother Tyler who was the smartest kid in our school of two thousand kids.
Me and my dad hug for a good minute and I don't want to let go. Truthfully he is the only one I will miss when I go off to college. Before he goes out the door he slips me cash and tells me it's for emergencies. I don't even look to see how much he gave me but I knew it wasn't much because money have been tight lately. My family is definitely not poor. We live in a large beach house off the coast of Northern California. But since me and my brother are going off to college that is where most of our money has been going to. As I walk down stairs my mother smiles instantly and hints me to sit down at the table where she has made an incredibly exquisite breakfast. I suspect that she is just happy that I got into a college.
As she finishes cleaning all the dishes we start to head out the door. I quickly run back into the house and run up to my room. In my room I open a closet and grab my favorite guitar knowing that without it I would be lost. As I get into the car my mom seems to accept the fact that music is my life. My mom always wanted me to become a lawyer just like her but I simply never wanted that. Throughout my life I would skip so much school just so I could go home and play endless hours of my music. The only reason I passed high school is because of my act and sat scores which were almost as good as my brothers. Despite the fact that I just barely passed any of my classes I was generally a smart person but never had the drive for success. As we drive tot eh airport my mom can't stop taking about Tyler. Since we will both be attending colleges in New York my mother is just excited to see her pride and joy, Tyler.
As we arrive at the airport time seems to fly and sooner or later we were already in the plane. I didn't had to sit by my mom thank god. I listened to music for the whole flight. When I listen to music everything seems to click. As we arrive in the New York airport a flood of anxiety floods my mind. When I was younger I had terrible panic attacks but things are getting better. I tell my mom goodbye telling her that I have a ride waiting for me even though I don't. She hesitates but like I figured she said goodbye and said that she was going to see Tyler.
I walk aimlessly in the airport until I find my way out. I call a taxi but it takes me awhile. I tell the tai driver to take me to Woodwinds Dorms. The driver rolls his eyes and says, "I see your trying to chase your dreams kid". I don't know why he said that but I suspect that he is mocking me for going to the music school Juilliard. As I arrive at the dorms I notice that a tone of kids my age were arriving too. As I get my key to my room I walk in and the first thing I notice is the stench of some sort of smoke. There was a girl and she quickly threw a cigarette out the door and says, "Oh hey Emma, I am your roommate Andy". We instantly begin to talk. We are both majoring in a musical theater. She tells me about the upcoming play that we have to be in to pas done class. She tells me that the play this year is going to be a good one. She talks for awhile about the play and how is is a romantic drama but all I can think about was the last play that I was in. My sophomore year I was in a play with my best friend Allison and my boyfriend Chris. Chris and I instantly clicked when we both revived lead roles in the play. As I thought of the time in my life when I was actually happy I then remembered the reason that I am not. Both Allison and Chris died in a car crash.
