Constellations

PART I: TRIO

Dear Ben Elton,

Time, love and death aren't inevitable. They are the core of life itself; a blessing and a curse these three things are; a kiss of passion and death.

A kiss of passion and death.

It reminds me so much of our last kiss, Ben Elton. Do you remember the last kiss we shared as I laid on my death bed? Probably not but I do.

I remembered how you poured your soul into that kiss. I remembered how I sensed that you were dying inside as realisation hits you that I'm a dying woman.

I remembered everything, Ben.

I do.

You know, sometimes I wish that time would stop. I just wished that time is like Santa who would grant me a present of stopping itself once I've written a letter to it.
It's a stupid wish isn't it Ben?

A child's play you would have said.

I admit it is quite silly because who am I to command time to stop? In all honesty time is selfish.

She doesn't wait for you. She screws you and everybody else. She isn't Santa. She's not a wish granting factory. She's not.

And neither is death.

Death, however, is not so kind like time.

Death not only kills the person it's been battling with but also the others who've been involved in the battle too.

An example of which would be us, Ben.

Death, my dear Ben, was cunning and he killed you slowly inside. You were wounded in the battle Ben.

I could feel it.

The only thing that really kept me sane I guess throughout this entire ordeal was our love.

Our love was the only thing that I continuously clung onto to make me feel like a woman and not a pity vote.

Alas however, our love was like flowers.

It blossomed throughout the years; only to wilt when you found out about my diagnosis.

Who was to blame?

You, me or love herself?

I do not know Ben.

All I know is that I want to thank Love for being inevitable because without it, I would have been a woman who hasn't left her scar on her partner.

I sincerely thank her and although I curse her for not being an eternal flames that burn, she's been kind to me.

The only aspect of life that's been so kind to me was love.

The only one damn good thing in my freaking life.

She's kind, Ben.

Unlike death and time, she's kind.

How she led me to you when I was fragile as a glass is a memory that would be forever written in my mind.

It would be like a broken recorder.

It would be like a replay button.

It would be magic.

I write this to you Ben because you've always asked: What's on your mind Luna?

And to that question, I shall answer with this letter.

Yours sincerely,
Luna Waters