Pending | J.jk

dying

mae

,,come in." the door to my room slowly pushed open, my mom coming into full view as she peaked her head from behind the wood.

i sat on my bed with my homework on my lap and my textbook next to me. i looked up at her once i quickly finished a math problem that i was on.

,,mae, we need to talk." she said in a stern tone, closing the door behind herself. i moved the paper off my lap and awaited for what she had to say.

she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. ,,i don't think you should talk to jungkook anymore."

i stared at her emotionless. i opened my mouth to retaliate, but i was at lost for words. i couldn't even utter a simple 'why.' she must have noticed my inner struggle to speak and continued. ,,the reason why i'm saying this is because you're spending too much time on that boy than on your studies. ms. lee called me the other day and told me you were failing her class."

she crossed her arms and furrowed her eyebrows at me. it made me mentally scoff at how hard my mom tried to set the authority that she was the bigger person here. ,,and i think he's setting a bad influence on you. he probably told you to cut your hair short didn't he?"

,,and what're these," she pulled up a small bottle, rattling it as she did so. they were jungkook's prescription pills. he must have forgotten them when he was here last time. ,,i found them inside the cabinet in the bathroom. have you've been taking unprescribed drugs, choi mae!?"

,,he is dying." i yelled, glaring up at her. she jumped at the sudden raise of my voice. it grew silent between us immediately as we stared at one another.

,,w-what?" she uttered almost inaudibly. i frowned, the blood boiling in me as i stared at the woman who was accusing jungkook wrongfully.

,,he has thyroid cancer. those pills are his, if you even read the bottle. his hair is falling off as time goes by, so i cut mine to give it to him--i'm failing her class because i skip that period to go to the hospital to make sure jungkook is well and breathing--if-if anything i'm the one who's being the bad influence."

i croaked the last part out, my tears making it harder for me to speak as i pointed toward my chest. i groaned and wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt .,,what do you mean you're the bad influence?"

i looked away from her and ran a hand through my hair. ,,because of me he wants to live longer, even though we both know he'll end up dead one of these days. i'm trying my best to make his days the best he's ever had."

my mom sighed heavily and quickly wiped the tear that had fallen on her reddened cheek off with the back of her hand. ,,i-i used to look at him as a friend until i realized i was deeply in love with him."

,,and i know i'll hate myself for saying this, but it's so so true." her eyes widened as she looked back at me, shock evident on her face.

by now i was standing, my legs felt like jelly but i couldn't care less. i needed to get my point across that no matter what she said, i would never leave jungkook until he was the one who left first.

,,now you know his bitter secret."