To Love You No Matter What [completed]

Melissa

But then, why is he here? Is he here for revenge? Is he here to torment me? Is he here to see me fall? Or, is he here to save me from this nightmare? I hope it's the latter... because today is my birthday – a day when I always expect a surprise from him.

I went out of bed. As I opened my door, a heart-shaped box filled with fossilized rainbow roses lied on the floor with a small box of chocolate on the side. There was a small card with a note on the box of chocolate: Happy Birthday, Sweetie. Nothing like waking up to some flowers and chocolates, eh? - Mark

I put down the note. Why can't he understand? Why would you give a girl some expensive fossilized flowers? What happened to the good old bouquet of fresh flowers with some matching serenade? Well, at least he's sticking to his routine of giving me the same gifts in every occasion. But, Mark is not what I'm expecting anymore. I took the chocolates and gave it to my nephew who was already in the living room watching his morning cartoon shows. I was about to get my cup of coffee on the kitchen counter when I passed by a door I have kept locked for two years. To my surprise, my older sister, Margaret, walked beside me and handed me the keys. 

"Isn't it time already?" She told me with a sympathetic smile. She sipped her coffee and gave me some privacy. My sister, she's always been a fan of Oliver. The day I told her Oliver and I broke up for the last time, she didn't talk to me for a week. She thought Oliver was the best thing that happened to me, and possibly, the only best thing. I guess she was right. 

With a shaky hand, I fitted the key to the keyhole and opened the door gently. I was greeted by a breeze filled with the scent of old wood and a faint whiff of oil paint. I turned on the lights and, voila, the room was filled with numerous oil paintings. Some were framed in glass and hanged on walls while others were still resting on their wooden stands. It was a small room in a shape of a light bulb, with the elongated part as the entry way and the circular part as the main gallery. This was once a storage room which I transformed to become the room where I kept Oliver's paintings, as suggested by my sister. 

There were three that I kept on the center. They were portrait paintings of me which he gave me during my birthdays. There was always a note behind every painting, telling me how beautiful I am and how much he loved me. When we were still together,  I got tired of him giving me paintings in every occasion. I hated routine acts. But I hadn't realized then how powerful these "routine" gifts were, until now. I caressed the paintings trying to feel what I had lost. Then, I stopped in front of an oil painting of Oliver and I facing backwards, hands holding each others' as we watched the beautiful scenery of Dahilayan Adventure Part. I felt my mouth tremble and my eyes moist.

They said that every couple will undergo a period where their love will be tested. Ours came many times and I have proven to myself many times that my love for Oliver was a love "unsure". I used to think that once you truly love someone, your feelings never waver in times of trial. My feelings for him always fade away in times when we had a fight. I began to question myself and my feelings for him. I told him many times about how I felt about him. But, he was always so sure about his feelings for me that he would never leave me. He would insist that what I'm feeling was normal in every couple and that there will come a time when I will realize that this was simply a passing feeling. 

Looking at this painting, I realized how Oliver had subtly expressed the state of our love in this picture. My right knee slightly bent forward as if ready to go while he was standing firmly on the ground with a wide stance as if bracing for what was to come. He looked so sure of himself. If only I'd shared the same certainty of feelings. 

There was never a third party in our relationship. But I did try a bit of experiment to test the credibility of my feelings. I tried chatting guys on Facebook, those who messaged me first of course. I even tried to chat with my ex-suitor who was a branch manager of Jolibee, an outrageously famous fast food chain in our city. He would often offer offer to take me home with his Mitsubishi Montero Sport. But I would always refuse. I always felt guilty whenever I did that. But somehow, somewhere deep within me, a little bit of jealousy was cooking up. I looked at those guys who would've been my boyfriend. There was one with a Toyota Fortuner; another one with a rich family; and another one who was very hot. 

Don't get me wrong. I was not a materialistic girl. But at that time, I felt a sort of longing to be treated the way these guys treated their girls: out of town vacations, fancy gifts, long car rides. I never had those with Oliver. He would always say things about the trip being too expensive; that we should save money and that he has other things to pay for. He had a lot of debts and I didn't know how he got those debts.

Sometimes, I would offer to pay for the expenses of the travel but he would always say that he can't accept my offer because it would be diminishing for a guy being treated every time by his girl. What can I do? He doesn't have the money for us to get some out of town escapade. Yes, we could eat in some fancy restaurants in our city in his expense. But I didn't want to be confined in this city. I wanted to spread my wings on some other place where the beach was more fun, where we could go biking on the streets along the streets of Vigan, where we can spend a night in Boracay, where we can go boating in the caves of Palawan. That never happened.

Then one night, he called me and asked me: "How would you like to go conquering Asia's longest dual zip line?" That was when we had our vacation in Dahilayan and it was memorable. I had my girls with me while he was the sole thorn among the roses. He used their family car, which was an old model of Hyundai Starex to take us there. I was very happy that time because finally, I got to spread my wings as I glided through the air along the 800 meter long zip line. But then, this portrait of us standing side by side, hands together, facing what's beyond, reminded me of his promise.

"Liz, do you still love me?" He asked.

I turned to him but he was looking away, smiling. I was perplexed by his smile. It was as if he already knew the answer, as if he could read straight through me. And, whatever it was he had read in me, I'm sure he was right. 

"Maybe." I finally said.

It took him a moment to answer. Then he bowed down and said, "I know you're not sure of me, but I am sure of you. You may push me away, but I will always come back. Just as long as I have that 'maybe', I will push on. That is already enough for me." He looked at me, his smile still on his face. But, his eyes was filled with an unfathomable depth of sadness.

"But why? Why would you torment yourself like that?" He was young. Why would he bet all of what he's got to a simple 'maybe'?

"Because I love you and just like that... And I'm gonna keep loving you no matter what." His stare was intense, but his smile was sincere. This guy... I don't deserve him. How can this guy love me despite everything?

A knock on the door snapped me out from reminiscing. I got so lost in my thoughts I hadn't realized the time and that my tear ducts had been acting like a leaking faucet. I wiped my tears and left the room, making sure that all the miseries and regretful nostalgia was left in this room.

***

Coming up: What really happened behind Melissa's birthday? Stay tuned! 

Don't forget to leave some comments below. This story is still under process. So, any suggestions about the plot will be very welcome :)

P.S.: I've decided to add a YouTube video this time simply because this music keeps on playing in my mind as I am writing this chapter. I hope it's okay with you all ^_^ Copyright still belongs to the owner of the YouTube video :)  

Have a great day, readers!