The Drum Major and the Clarinet

The Story from the Beginning

Everything was laid out for me when I was little. My head was filled with dreams, my heart was filled with love. All I wanted was happiness in life. My mom and dad were happily married, my sisters and I got along well, and we had a young little baby brother.

I had a family all put together for me. Remember when I said, my parrents were hapily married? Turns out that was a lie. My parents never got along, they faught contently behind my back. My father had affairs with other women, while my mom took care of me, my sisters, and my baby brother.

I was a little girl, under the illusion that I had a perfect family. Under a spell to make me happy, when it was all a lie. One day my father left, my mom told me he was just going on vacation.

Weeks past and he never came back. Every morning I would run to the front door to see if his car was parked in the drive way. But every day brought more disappointment. A month wnt by before I realized he wasn't coming home.

But one day he came home. I rushed to my daddy, and hugged him. I was so happy he was home, I didn't wasnt to let go of him. He went back to talk with my mom, and came out and told me to pack a bag. He said I get to stay with him for a weekend. I was confused at first, because I thought he was staying home.

I agreed and hurried to pack a bookbag of my stuff. I grabbed my pajamas, and extra-change of clothes, a pillow, and my blanket. I rushed down the stairs and stood by my daddy's side until he took me to his car.

I buckled my seat belt and he started to drive. I became excited to get to spend a whole weekend with my daddy.

But it turns out that was a lie too. He took me to my grandparents house. He dropped me off at my grandparent's house, and left me with my grandpa and grandma. I spent the whole weekend at their house, until Sunday when my dad came and picked me up and took me back to my mom's house.

That happened every other weekend, for a year. But one weekend he came to pick me up, and by suprise he took me to where he lived. I walked into a tiny house with five dogs rushing to my side. Each wagged their tail, and licked my face.

That happened until a woman came and pulled them all away. I asked her who she was and she told me my new step mommy. I asked her, 'Like the step mommy from Cinderella?'

She just laughed at my comment, and told me she was nicer than the step mom from Cinderella. I began to cry. She asked me why I was crying. I told her, 'Because I don't want to be taken away from my real mommy.'

She told me she was just a second mom. I sniffed, and wiped away my tears. She hugged me like she loved me.

That next Sunday, my dad took me home. When I came home, my mom had a man over. I asked him who he was. He said his name was Hugh. My mom said he was a friend. He shook my hand with kindness. I smiled and asked him if he was going to be my second daddy.

(6 months later)

Hugh started to live with us, and I was only 7 years old. My mom went to work one day, and before she left, she asked him to wash the dishes for her. He said, 'Of course I'll wash them, it's just a simple task.'

An hour past after my mom left. I sat in my room playing with my stuffed animals, when he came in. He told me to wash the dishes. I responded to his request, 'My mommy asked you to do them, and you said you would. If you don't do them that would be lying. And lying is a sin.'

He frowned at me and grabbed my arm, and pulled me down the stairs. I pulled away fom him when we reached the bottom, and told him to stop hurting me. He yelled at me to go wash the dishes, and I began to cry at the sound of his shout.

Before I knew it, he pulled off his belt and struck me with it. I cried at the stinging pain of the leather whiping my skin. He yelled at me to stop crying. I tried to stop but couldn't. He whiped me again, and shouted at me to stop again. I held my breath to to stop, and it worked.

He yelled at me to go do the dishes, and I responded with the most respect I could bare. 'Yes sir.' I rushed to the kitchen, and ran the hot soapy water. While I did this, he sat out in the living room and turned on the tv.

(5 years later)

I was in seventh grade, and I was excited because I was finally eligable to join the cross country team. Only grades 7th and 8th were allowed to run cross country at my middle school. I enjoyed running, the wind in my face, the way my hair flopped around in the breeze. I loved it all.

But one day we got partners for timing. I was partnered with a kid names Ben. He was an 8th grader with short blond hair, and brown eyes. I shyly said 'Hi' to him, while he smiled and said 'Hello' to me. It turned out we had a lot of things in common, we both enjoyed anime, we both liked art, and music. After that day we became close friends.

Ben and I had been friends for 3 months, when one day he told me that he liked me, and asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course I said 'Yes'. But that was before I saw the true side of him.

Ben invited me to go to the homecoming game with him. He paid for the tickets, the popcorn, and something for me to drink. I warned him days before how I get when it gets late. That sometimes I can't control my actions.

So the game went into its 3rd quarter. He wrapped his arm around me, and whispered in my ear, 'Come on, I know something more fun we can do.'

I asked him what he was talking about. He responded with a little giggle, 'I meant fun at my place, I want to see you in the darkness of my room.'

I jerked myself away from him. 'What the hell is wrong with you?!' I asked in shock. I stormed down the bleachers, telling him I was going home. I walked behind the bleachers on my way home.

I felt him grab my wrist and pin me to the wall. He held my other arm, as well, above my head. He held my legs down with his knees. I felt his lips on my neck, I tried to cry out for help, but he covered my mouth with his other hand. I struggled, and struggled, until I got one legs loose.

I kneed the boy in between his legs. He dropped to the ground, and curlled into a ball. I ran away from him, and ran until I got to my house, where I locked every door. I closed my blinds on my window, and crawled into bed; trying to forget everything that had happened.

Since that day, I could never love. I locked up that barrier tight, refusing to let anyone else in. I closed myself out from the entire world. Suicide thoughts poured into my mind like a waterfall each day. Until one day I tried to make it a reality.

I tried to hang myself, but the only friend I had at the time, Veronica, stopped me from doing so. She punched and kicked me. It took her and her parents to hold me down long enough so I could calm myself.

The second time I tried was when I tried to stab myself. I waited til no one was around, and took a knife. I was able to restrain myself at first and instead of stabbing my heart, I slashed my arm; leaving a scar. I tried again, but before I could; my sensei snapped the knife out of my hand. He tied my arms behind my back. Since that day, he knew my whole story.

I'm now a freshman, a 14 year old freshman. And this is the story of how I met, my closest, no, my best friend, who broke my barriers. Who earned my trust.