Identity

End.

Day 28835
"There is a critical period in everyone's lives, it's when our brains are fully developed. The way we see, hear, sense, and feel during that time frame cannot be easily change. That period is the time when the soul is made."

***

A sound of a child wailing is heard and faces were altered. A room with quadruple sides are seen with their magnificent, mocking, and blank surface. An allusion voice is heard, "Never leave me", it says. It was like a gust of wind passing by. A dust blown by the wind passed and leaves an impression of anger.

At the age of twenty-four, I met him. He is a friend with a lot of crazy side and a mischievous charm. Through the use of potassium nitrate and sulfur, he made the weapons Jin Dynasty used against Song Dynasty, it is lethal but with no avail he throws it, laughing like a child. Now that I am twenty-seven, nothing seems to have changed. The wisdom of the world haven't rained on him and his still the same carefree guy that shoots things all around the place.

Day 28835
"At the age 6-8 the critical period comes knocking on a child's brain and stopping it to make the sole perception of how the child will view reality. Starting the day the child comes alive of  its mother's womb, every single thing, will affect the soul of the child."

***

It was Saturday morning that I jinxed myself that something dreadful will happen. I'm now standing on a rooftop of an abandon building and it's freezing. The kid is throwing profanities about how messed up the human society is. It's the era where injustice and inequality is currently happening. The complaints and distrust is in each mind of people. 
It just so happens that I was walking on a street that I saw a kid went out from a condominium and tucked a blade in his ragged out duffle coat. For the interest of time I followed him.  The kid is crying, shouting too.

I weave a sigh, "what a pathetic kid".

***

The dark room is back, everything is the same.
"Hello" the girl in front of me said. Starting at the lung producing adequate air flow to the production of air pressure, and how it vibrates through her vocal folds, she made greeting "hello's" more complicated as it is. "Hello" I said.  Neither of us said anything  and it's for a while that we stared at each other. Her eyes are familiar. It's not something mesmerizing, it's just her iris it's  black and vague. Her iris is disgusting. It's black and vague.

***

Behind the windows, cold rain beat on the green grass and packed trees. The wind slashing and the harmonious laughter of kids playing are replayed repeatedly like a destroyed cassette. It's like a mantra that keeps bothering my head. It made my head hurt, like a truck of rock fell in my head.
"Never leave me"
I heard, and it's making my head float like a feather falling down from a building. Pushing it down like how we are push down by gravity to the core of the earth.  The sound of the kids bother me once again, I have to go out and get the sickening laughter out of my mind.

***

"Did you ever felt this?" I ask, this is the first time I ever saw him. He looks distress but superior. "I did" he said. The way his tone emphasized how he felt when he said that two words made me pity him.  "Do you know this feeling?" I ask again. "I do" he said. This small conversation that having myself talking the most and him answering so little made me uncomfortable.  "Do you remember that you could have been dead without me?". "If you haven't been fragile, you could have not destroyed my life. There was a monster but you could have fought it" he said.

***

The sun is shining brightly, the flowers flowering and trees blooming. The neighborhood kids cuddled together, emitting  laughter. I imagined it all. It's slowly fading away but the spark of memories are still there. I hear a sound of a person walking up to the room. Who could it be?, I asked myself. "Sweetie?" It's her. The tone of her voice is sweet and soft. The warmth of a mother's care is cut through her voice. "Yes?" I spoke back. Metal scraping against each other is heard as she open up the door, sickening me. After a few more seconds, I see her.  The outside is still the same. A lot of picture frame around the room is still hanging. And the aroma of cooked food is flying inside through my room. For the next day somebody knocked, "Who are you?" I ask her. "Do you want some lollipop?" The girl in front of me said instead of answering my question. She seems old with her wrinkles but she is a kid. 
***
"Who are you?" I asked. I just woke up and I saw the guy. His a soft guy with a girlish figure. Instead of answering me he looked at me straight in the eyes and dragged me to the room. He pushed me harshly, I'm getting scared with the way he is acting. I watched him roam around his body. After a few seconds he found what he seems to be looking for, a blade. He took of his jacket and place the blade in his wrist. "No!" I run to him but I was late, he cut his wrist. I stand still and looked at the ground, the wooden ground is now covered with blood. I looked at him, he looked at me and said, "Mom loves you". That's the last thing I heard before I blackout was my mom's dying words.

"Never leave me" I said. Somebody answered, "I will never"

***

I do not want to be like her but fate led me to be the nightmare I never wished to be.

Day 28835
"People fear a lot of things but what people really fear is fear itself and remembering fear is not what people like. As much as possible we, people, stay away from it. There's a lot of ways but storing the memory of fear in our unconscious mind and make ourselves suppress it with our conscious mind is the common way we do."