Best For Business (A WWE Fanfic) Book 2 in The Wild Card Series

Chapter 35 Baring It All

    I let out a deep sigh, rubbing my fingers against my forehead. I had no idea where to start talking about this and I looked into my coffee, hoping it would give me the answers I was looking for.

"Look I understand why you didn't want to say anything to us Lila..." Roman began and I looked up, seeing his worried face.

"No I don't think you do Roman. There is no possible way you could understand the way this makes me feel." I shook my head, keeping my tone gentle.

"Well tell us then, we have to get this out in the air before we go back otherwise it's gonna be hell." Seth pressed, and I knew he was right, "Just try get us to understand."

"This was something I wanted to keep buried, I had no intention of ever telling you about this." I admitted, seeing the disappointment on Roman and Seth, Dean getting a flicker of anger, "Don't look at me like that."

"I just can't picture you...like Jeff you know." Seth shrugged, trying to keep his face neutral.

"Well it's not my proudest moment, and it's not something people know about." I frowned, holding my cup in both my hands.

"Does anyone else know?" Dean asked roughly, sounding tense and I found myself staring into his blue eyes.

I glanced from Dean to Roman as I tapped my fingers against the side of my cup, feeling more exposed than ever before. Dean leaned back in his chair, hand resting flat on the table.

"Don't lie to us anymore." He called out, rubbing his chest and I frowned.

"Lay off alright?" Seth snapped, seeing my discomfort.

"You heard her Seth, she wasn't even going to tell us in the first place. My bad if I want to make sure she isn't hiding anything else." He commented and I couldn't even find it in me to get mad.

"Seth it's fine. He's right even if he's being a dick about it." I reassured him, seeing Dean narrow his eyes at me, "Jeff knew."

"Ya we know that much." Roman nodded but I shook my head.

"Not that Jeff Roman." I elaborated, seeing him frown, "The other Jeff."

"Hardy knew?" he gaped, and I nodded, "Was it that bad that you would go to Hardy before you would even consider coming to me?"

"I thought about going to you Roman, I even bought a ticket at one point for RAW but I couldn't bring myself to do it." I admitted, taking a sip of my coffee.

"What were you thinking?" he blurted out, sounding harsh.

"I couldn't stand to look at myself, there was no way in hell I would be able to face you. That's what I was thinking." I shot back, rubbing my hand over my face.

"How long we're you on that shit?" Dean butted in, nearly making my head spin.

"9 months, give or take a few weeks." I said softly.

"Jesus Lila, I cant. I can't do this right now." Roman groaned, getting up.

"You wanted to know Roman," I jumped to my feet, hands at my side, "You think you feel like shit, imagine how I feel right now? I never thought I'd have to explain this to you of all people. So ya I lied, or rather hid it from you because I knew this was how you were going to react."

"I'm not mad at you, don't you get it?" he turned, looking devastated, "I'm pissed because you didn't trust me enough to come to me. I'm mad at myself for pushing you that far away that the person you turned to was Jeff friggin Hardy when you felt your life was slipping away from you."