The Pilot Afraid to Fly

A whole burned in my heart

     The sight before me made my blood boil. There was no rhyme or reason. Nothing in the world that I could have ever imagined to make someone do something as cold heart-ed as this. The burger shack is almost unrecognizable, all that remain are ashes and the melted sculpture of my father that once stood atop the building luring in customers with his remarkably bright smile. The wax dripped sadly to the ground into one big mound. My heart began to ache as I watched the firefighters put out the last of the fire. Although the last of the flames had subsided the fire in my heart still burned uncontrollably. All kinds of emotions overwhelmed me as I just stood there. I don't remember how long I was standing there or when tears started to fill my eyes but the world quickly became a blur as my tears impaired my vision.

    Burger Shack was build from the ground up in 1999 by the hands of my father. Its sole purpose was to welcome people into town and enjoy a nice burger and shake while being surrounded by the hospitality of the waiters and waitresses that always had a nice big smile. It was one of the last things that I had to remember my father by. Not only was it built by my father as a sign of warmth to the town, but he built it for me, his first and last born son. 

"You can't stand here for ever, whats done is done." Josh says sympathetically. I look over at him as a tear threatens to fall down my cheek. "That's not what my father would have told me." I whisper as I begin to walk towards the buildings remains. I can hear Josh's footsteps behind me as he starts to follow me.

     " I think you should go."  I say as I stop walking, but don't turn around . As I start walking again I hear his footsteps continue.

"I SAID LEAVE!"   I yell as I turn around to face him, and as soon as I do I wish I hadn't. A look of hurt takes over his face as he holds back tears. He clenches his fists and grits his teeth. " You act like you are the only one that's lost somebody they love." He sputters as he turns to walk back to the school. I watch as he crosses the street and enters the double doors of Willsburg Middle. It isn't until he vanishes through the doors that I realize he is right. I could stand here and sob while staring at the rubble that the person has left me with, or I can do something better with myself. I dry my face on my shirt and press the button to cross the street, and when all of the lights turn red I start to walk across. Out of the corner of my eye I see the all to familiar flash of a camera. Paparazzi. I say to myself as I start to walk faster to the safety of my school, the only place they can't get to me, my safe haven. I like to blame them as my sole reason I never go anywhere to do anything anymore but I know that it's not true. I really just don't want to be confronted about the thing that has been eating me alive for my whole life.

     I grab the ice cold doorknob of the double doors and twist it slowly, as if a monster awaits on the other side. A monster I call curiosity. Students that ask you the same questions everyday knowing that they will never get an answer out of you. Your own friends that still ask even though they can see that it hurts you. Teachers that ask to see you after class just to cure there own curiosity. It feels like I am stuck in a vortex, except I am creating it. Me, the only one to blame. Every time someone asks me I think about how easy it would be if I just told them. But I can't, there I said it, I cant. 

     The whole rest of the day seemed to drag on. Maybe it was because my best friend was mute and wouldn't even look at me. What is his problem? He doesn't understand what life has been like for me, and I don't think that he ever will, and he says I'm insensitive. Throughout the day I would find little things that seemed to be funny and would look over to tell him but every time I did he was not there. It even seemed like there were even more cool things to tell him about in school than usual. The lunch lady got fired, one of the teachers got promoted, and I even saw some janitors getting into an argument over who was supposed to have taken out the trash. When the bell finally rang it felt like music to my ears. I quickly got up and started to run out of the door. "Daniel Owens to the principals office please, I repeat Daniel Owens to the principals office." I froze in my place as all of my classmates stared at me before saying oooooooooooh in unison. "Grow up would you!" I yell back at them as I march to the all too familiar principals office. Oh this should be good.