Parent Helpline

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LEGEND:
Declan - bold
Grayson - italics

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"Hi, this is Parent Helpline. Please feel free to tell us any issues you have with your family or partner, and we will be there to help and support you every step of the way!"

"[Shaky] Dec?"

"Gray? [Short pause] You okay?"

"Dec, I've been crying for the past thirty minutes, and I don't think I can stop."

"What's wrong?"

"My grandmother had a conversation with me this afternoon. I was just back from school. She came over, looking perfectly fine, and began talking about my parents. [Sniff] It turned out my dad's current fling – her name is Kim or something – wasn't his first, and wasn't his last either. He began to have affairs as far back as 2004. And that was when by brother was born. After the first time, my mom and grandparents let it go. My gran said he apologised or some shit. Anyhow, my mom didn't care. She wanted me and my brother to have a solid family. But that– that fucking bastard just had to go and ruin it again. He had one again a few years later, 2009 I suppose; then the earliest one was just last year. With the same woman. Kim. He got her pregnant, Dec.

"My mom never knew there was a third time. Only when one of her friends discovered the texts between my dad and Kim did he own up. [Pause] And you know what he sent her? [Disgusted] That he'd take care of their child. That he'd be forever faithful, and never betray their love. That he'd always be there for her, whenever she needed. [Voice breaks] Tell me, wasn't that what he'd promised my mom too?

"Mom tried to warn me. I remembered hating her for saying "always have a sliver of doubt", because I knew it was aimed at my dad, just not why. And I thought she was the unfaithful one. I thought she had someone else, and so tried to break the family. But it was him. It was him all along. The winter when she found out about his third fling, she went batshit. Demanded an abortion. And Kim wasn't from a normal family either. Apparently they were rich and powerful, and also infamous. But my mom went to confront them anyway. And I think the abortion did happen. [Pause] Not that it mattered.

"My mom apparently did have a thing too. Somebody called Theo. Once when I was really young and my brother even younger, we saw texts on her phone to an unknown number basically saying they love each other. But that never stayed in my mind. [Bitter] Obviously, not for long enough. But gran said it was quick to die. Theo never lasted. Mom still loved dad. But one-way isn't enough.

"So, tell me, Dec, what is not wrong? My parents were both wrong. They can't settle it. But now they won't talk. Dad won't speak to mom, and mom would only speak to gran about him. But both of them smile to us, laugh with us, treat us the same loving way. What is here that isn't wrong, Dec?"

"Gray... I..."

"Dec, honest, I need help. [Sob] I just don't know what to believe in anymore. My whole brother's life has been a fucking lie. And it pisses me off, how he's so naive, so oblivious to it all. He was born in September. Late in the year. When was this affair of my dad? Did he even love mom when she had the baby? Was he even there when she delivered him? [Angry] Just– just what part of my brother's life is real, if any?

"I don't want this to go on, Dec. I need it to stop. But I can't. I can never find the courage to tell dad what I know about him, because if I did he would get angry, or abandon us. I can never find the courage to tell mom how I actually am everyday, because I know she's always worse. I can never find the courage to tell my gran really how much I care, because everytime she looks at me she sees an emotionless teenager, but everytime she looks away I break the fuck down. And my brother... I can't, I can't tell him how it really is because he just can't know... [sob.]"

"Look, Gray... Stop crying. Please. You can't be suffering for this. I won't allow it. You don't deserve it. Neither does your mom. Or your brother. Or your grandma."

"I know... I just can't stop, Dec... It's been going on for four nights now. Everytime I lie down, all I could think of was that and then suddenly all I could do was cry. I don't know why. I'm just... I'm just fucking mad at the way he treats us. I'm mad for my brother, who never got to see how his parents really were. I'm mad for my gran, who's fucking 84 and should be enjoying life, but instead is ageing even faster because all she could think of is her daughter's broken marriage. And... and I'm mad at me for not being able to do anything. For being a fucking coward, that can't even stand up for himself, much less his family. All I do is fucking cry. I'm fucking useless, Declan. I'm fucking useless."

"Gray, no. You're not. Crying doesn't make you useless. And neither does feeling scared. They come naturally. You wouldn't be human if you weren't scared or sad, Gray. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to be mad, be mad. You have every reason to be."

"But I have no reason to show it. My family needs me. I'm the oldest son, and I can't do anything right, Dec. [Pause] Why should I do anything anymore?"

"Gray, don't say that. You can't. Come on. Grayson!"

"[Choke] I'm sorry."

[Click.]

"Gray? Grayson! Oh, for fuck's sake..."