Home for Christmas • {Shannon Leto}

thirteen - i'll do my best

By the time he got there, all of her efforts to stay tear-free had failed. She sat there sobbing as he approached, slightly out of breath. He'd run up the trail as fast as he could to get to her.

"Zane," he whispered, sitting down beside her. She raised her head slightly to look at him, tears still spilling down her cheeks.

"At least you know I'm not a totally emotionless bitch," she said sarcastically, motioning to her face in general.

"I didn't think that before, not ever," he assured her quietly, reaching out and putting a hand on her shoulder. She wanted to shy away from his touch but couldn't quite muster the energy to. "You've got to let me explain, Z," he told her, and something in his voice was too sincere for her to tell him no.

"Okay," she said quietly, suddenly feeling completely exhausted.

"She's... that... was nothing. We used to date. It's like an off-and-on thing we've had going for a while, not even that long. She's just super possessive and that's mainly the reason why we never would have worked anyway. I had her come over today to tell her we were done for good, that I couldn't see her anymore because I was in love with you. I don't know why she did that when I answered the door. I don't know why she acted that way. I'd told her who you were, and I'm guessing she was trying to make you jealous even though you had nothing to be jealous of at all," he rambled, his voice sounding desperate. When she chanced a glance up at him, she saw that his eyes were filled with tears.

She stared at him for a long time, deciding if she believed him or not. His eyes bore right back into hers and they studied each other. She couldn't see anything in them that made her think he might be lying. The longer she looked at him, the more she became totally sure he was being honest with her.

"I love you," she whispered, and at first she thought he hadn't heard her. He didn't respond for a long time, and then his eyes went wide.

"You do?"

"Yeah, I do. That's what I was coming over to tell you," she said in a small voice. It felt so strange to be saying those words to him. Part of her couldn't believe she was, but another part wondered why the hell she hadn't earlier.

"You love me?" he asked her, like he was sure he'd heard her wrong.

"I love you," she repeated, and when she looked up at him again, he had a brilliant smile on his face. "I love you, Shan," she said it again, with much more enthusiasm. Her eyes filled with tears yet again as she kept repeating it at him.

"I love you too, Freckles. I can't even believe how much," he whispered, scooting closer to her and wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Shan. I'm sorry I treated you the way I did before. I'm sorry that I slept with you and kicked you out. I'm sorry it took me so long to admit how I was feeling. I'm sorry I was such an idiot. I know it was so awful to you. I know you didn't deserve it," she said into his shoulder as he continued to hug her.

"Don't be sorry. I get it. I get being scared. You fucking terrify me, Zane. I've never cared so much about a single person other than my brother and my mom," he told her, kissing the top of her head in between every couple words.

She pushed away just a little bit so she could kiss him. When his lips touched hers, she felt like her entire body was going to explode. She'd never experienced a kiss with so much passion and real feeling behind it. If she hadn't already loved him, that kiss would have made her.

Before she knew it, they were full-on making out. His hands started wandering over her body and she had to stop him.

"Shan... not here..." she mumbled between kisses, forcing herself to stay focused.

"We've got to do it right now before you change your mind," he joked, pulling away from her lips and kissing all over her face, making her giggle.

"Let's go back to your place. I'm not going to change my mind," she told him, wriggling to try and break free of his silly kisses. He held her tighter, pinning her arms down at her sides as she struggled underneath him. She laughed again as he gave her a goofy look.

"Promise you won't kick me out after?" he asked, making a faux pouty face at her, his full bottom lip pushed out dramatically.

"It's your house. I won't be able to," she said, taking his lip gently in her teeth and nibbling it, causing him to make a noise in the back of his throat.

"Ah, perfect," he said, laughing and standing up beside her. He offered her and hand and she took it. He helped her up and then wrapped her in his arms again. "I don't know what this spell is that you've got over me, but I hope it lasts forever," he whispered into her hair, kissing the top of her head lightly. She smiled into his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing tightly.

"I'll do my best," she told him, leaning up to kiss him one more time.