metal against ice • victuri

1 • dont give up

"-and he doesnt make the landing!"

i looked at victor who stood with his arms across his chest. did i really just miss the landing again? of course i get back up and keep going but theres tears in my eyes. i had already fell after my triple axel and now i missed the quad landing too; even my foot work was off.

i finsh off my program breathing heavy and red faced. i look to see victor is no longer standing by the ice rink but rather walking away. which only made the tears stream more and more.

my whole world stood still. people were stunned, shocked. some were covering there eyes. the other skaters even were frozen in there stance.

i skated off the ice sitting down on the benches beside the rink with my head in my hands. this couldnt be real. lately, i had been down. in a slump i suppose. i havent been eating, ive been sleeping alot, and not having much motivation. my family thinks its just homesick from being away on competitions. but it didnt feel like it. it was more of a sad feelings and hopelessness. i couldnt tell you why though. i had everything. i had an amazing boyfriend who was also my coach. i wass the #1 male skater in the world right now. i had an amazing family and supportive friends. why was i feeling this way? and is it effecting my skating?

what had just happened? did i really just make the worst performance of my life. had i just ruined my skating carrier again. i made my victor so disappointed he cant even speak to me. i cant believe myself.

"yuuri!" I heard my name being called a bit of a distance away until there was a heavy breathing girl crouched down infront of me. I didnt bother to lift my head. how could i look anyone in the eyes right now. the woman grabbed my wrist moving my hands from my face. blinking my eyes open i saw it was minako.

i hugged her tightly and cried gently into her shoulder. i had never been so disappointed in myself. i made myself look weak along with victor and minako. in fact i made everyone whose been here with me look weak.

"m-minako- " i began to apologize but no words would leave my mouth. she shushed me and pulled back wiping my eyes. she gave me a look of pity which i absolutely hated but i couldnt speak. i was in shock. it felt as if it was an alternative universe and if i went to sleep and woke back up everything would be back to normal.

"yuuri, you tried your best and thats what matters. you just had a bad spell dont worry youll be back in shape in the next competition. everyone has theyre downfall." she gave me a warm smile and helped me to my feet.

maybe she was right. maybe its just human. it was a bad day or just karma. id hope thats all it was. but maybe she was wrong too.

"katsuki yuuri comes out with a score of 87.9. making him in last place." the speaker announced and my mouth fell open. the whole arena either gasped or sat silently. that was the lowest ive ever scored.

i didnt bother watching the rest of the show. i ran home as fast as i could not bothering to check where victor was or say hey to anyone. i didnt say a word when i got into my home either. i ran into my room closed the door and crawled into bed, wallowing away under the covers.

everything hurt. emotionally and physically i was in pain. physically because of the falls onto the ice. emotionally because well.. i may have just ended everything i had going for me. and there was no one to blame but myself.

as i thought about it more and more i started to doubt myself. maybe i shouldnt have gave it another shot. could this be a sign to quit? is this my wake up call. i tried to come up with some explanation for what had just occurred.

i dont know how long it was i layed there (couple hours atleast) until a knock was heard from my door distracting me from my thoughts. i didnt respond to it though, i just layed where i was unable to move. i heard the door creak open and close again. it was probably just my mom or sister checking on me anyways. and i wasnt in the mood to talk.

my bed sunk as someone sat down. again, i chose to stay put signaling i wanted to be alone. it wasnt until the covers were pulled down that i noticed the silver hair sparkling against the moonlit room.

I sat up looking at victor with wide tearful eyes taken back when he leaned forward connecting our lips.

it wasnt our first kiss or anything but i was in need of comfort. which made it more intense. still, it was slow and full of passion and neediness.

i had always liked the way his lips fit perfectly with mine. he had thin light pink lips that were long. they were beautiful as for the rest of him. every time we kissed i remembered why i fell for him in the first place.

victor was the one to pull back, cupping my cheeks. we looked into each others eyes and i began to tear up again for the 1000th time today. I could see the confusion in his deep sea blue orbs. I was just as lost.

silence filled the room. not an awkward one but more of a content one. i couldnt look in his eyes any longer. how could i? i let him and everyone else down. nothing was more important than making him proud and i failed.

"yuuri.." he began, tilting my head up with his fingertips "im not disappointed in you if thats what your pretty little mind has made up. im more concerned than anything."

he looked at me with worry and it broke my heart. why should someone like victor care about me. someone so beautiful, loving, smart concerned about me? its laughable. I dont want him to worry. and i knew he was lying to spare my feelings hes that type of person to take others feelings into consideration. but so was i. and i couldnt let him continue to have his mind set on this.

"m-maybe its time i stop-"

"dont you dare." he cut me off. his eyes were wide and he looked like he had seen his worst nightmare come true. "dont you dare even think about it." he already knew what was coming.

it was scary how serious he was. he pulled me over onto his lap and  grabbed my jaw, making me look him in the eyes once again. one of his arms snaked around my waist feeling his hot breath against my lips. I could feel my cheeks burning he always made me feel butterflies in my stomach.

"baby dont give up. you cant just...yuri you cant just give all this up because you had one bad spell. we will practice more. we will make you stronger. we will make you a better performer. we will get you out of this slump. youre the greatest male ice skater in the world. Ive never believed in anyone like i believe in you. i left everything behind for you thats how much faith i have in you yuuri katsuki. and i refuse to let you quit. as your coach and your boyfriend i refuse to let you give up on something your so passionate about. youre not going anywhere. youre gonna make history and im gonna be right here beside you every damn step of the way. you got that?" now i wasnt the only one with tears in my eyes.

i hugged him tightly, so tight i didnt want to let go. i cant give up. I cant. giving up would mean flushing everything i had worked for down the toilet. i loved skating. it was the thing i did when i had nothing else. its not just a sport its a living and i live for it. without it i have no meaning. without it i would have never met my biggest idol. without it i wouldnt have the amazing boyfriend i have now.

"I love you victor." I whispered hiding my face in his shoulder, my arms drapped around his neck.

"and i love you yuuri." he mumbled back, kissing my cheek.

•••

hi yes im aware that was bad im trying to just start off slow! 5 votes and ill update thank you so much for reading ♡♡ also victuuri fluff is great am i right. episode 10 killed me. by the way the lowercase is intended!!