Children of the Blood

Never Enough

Chapter 6 - Never Enough

Clarke's fingers absently pulled at the loose strings on the frayed edge of her sweater. The tent was quiet, the meetings long concluded. She sat waiting on the bed of furs, her mind echoing with Lexa's words.

One week.

She had known time was growing short. That they would have to act, make decisions soon, but they hadn't put the time into words yet. At least, not until now.

One week.

It wasn't enough, she thought. And it had nothing to do with time for preparations and everything to do with Lexa. She'd made Lexa promise months ago that they wouldn't separate, that they would weather this together, no matter the consequences. But they hadn't spoke of it since.

She had listened quietly to Lexa explain the situation, the plan, to the clan leaders. In comparison, Roan's reaction had been mild. But unlike with Roan, Lexa had maintained her composure, trying instead to exude confidence and exact command. Clarke couldn't help but admire Lexa's uncanny ability to lead, to persuade, to give her people what they needed no matter the cost to herself.

And it had become starkly and painfully clear how much the Grounders still needed their Commander. Her people were scared. They needed their leader, their Heda.

The dread in the pit of Clarke's stomach burned all the brighter.

What if they did part in a week? How long would they be apart? The distance between the Solar Sea and the Caverns was immense. Weeks long to travel at least. Impossible for Clarke. Unwise for Lexa.

She had considered just going to the Caverns with the Grounders, with Lexa. She could be useful. And they would be together. But to what end? What she needed to do, what she must do, is find a way to change their reality. To find a way for them all to survive in the volatile place the Earth had become. Becca had done it. If only she could discover how!

Of course without her, Raven and her mother would continue their research, continue to look for that answer, but in the end, she knew she couldn't leave it to anyone else. It needed to be her and she knew her best chance at succeeding was at the Solar Sea.

And so once again, she saw no way around the inevitable conclusion that they would have to separate.

One week.

"Damnit!" she shouted, flinging the wooden cup next to her across the room, toppling and crashing the clay pots of water on the table against the wall.

"Did the water do something to upset you?" a voice said from behind her.

Clarke felt her shoulders slump, the rage leaving her.

Lexa took a few slow steps into the room, closer to Clarke.

Clarke shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself and didn't turn around. "It's not enough time," she said, feeling the rage transform into tears of frustration.

"No," Lexa said quietly. She took the last few steps, stopping when she stood next to Clarke. Near but not touching.

Clarke stared, vision blurring through tears, at the nearby fire. She suddenly felt cold. A deep, unending cold deep in her bones. She tightened her arms around herself and felt a tear slip down her cheek.

She could feel Lexa looking at her. "Clarke," she said softly.

Clarke let her eyes slip closed at the sound. No one said her name like Lexa. It was always so much more than her name when it came from Lexa's lips.

She opened her eyes and turned her head, meeting the deep green eyes next to her. She wanted to always see those eyes when she opened her eyes. She wanted those eyes, and all that those eyes held as they looked at her, forever.

"It will never be enough," Lexa said, her voice betraying her own emotion.

Longing seized Clarke and she suddenly couldn't bare not touching her. She reached for Lexa and Lexa's own arms wrapped around her, crushing their bodies together, their lips meeting, seeking each other out by instinct. Lexa's hands travelled up and cupped Clarke's face, then slipped into her hair. Clarke let out a whimper, her fingers fisting in the fabric of Lexa's shirt, holding on, determined never to let go.

Clarke pushed away the what ifs, the cold, the dread, the voice echoing "one week," and focused only on the moment. The feel of Lexa's arms around her, the soft demanding lips that travelled over every inch of her skin, the weight of their bodies and limbs, the exquisite friction as they moved against each other. Never did she feel so powerless as under Lexa's touch, and never did she feel so powerful as when she drove Lexa to cry out her name.

There was no tomorrow. Only the now.

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