My Long Distance Love

My Long Distance Love: Part 1

"Happy Valentine's Day, Babe." I said to my boyfriend's picture. I tucked it in my pocket and ran to the car.

It had been 8 months since I'd moved to Illinois from Wisconsin. I hadn't seen my boyfriend since winter break. James and I were an it-couple in Wisconsin. Mostly because James was a genius, a star basketball player and popular, while I was a quiet girl who dressed in either jeans and t-shirts or edgy but fashionable outfits. I liked art, he liked sports. I wrote stories and we both loved to read. He was in ROTC and I didn't even know how to do a pushup. We were so different, but in many ways we were alike. He wasn't the most talkative person or most attractive, he had brown hair and brown eyes. He smiled a lot and could be a class clown sometimes. I was frequently quiet, but a really good listener, I had brown eyes and dark blond hair. I struggled with clinical depression and could be very serious sometimes. But with James, I couldn't stop smiling and I opened up more. He was my other half, and I was his.

When I got to school my cellphone suddenly vibrated. I picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey, Beautiful. It's Valentine's Day." James sounded happy as usual.

"Yeah." I felt my mouth turn upwards into a smile. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too." He laughed softly. "Do you know I love you, Addie?"

"Yes." I smiled even more. "I love you, too."

"Well. I know you have class, so... I'll call you later today. Bye, Beautiful." He hung up.

"Bye." I held my phone in my hand and just stared at it for a long moment. I wish he was here with me.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The day slid past me quickly. I didn't really pay close attention in my classes. I finished my quizzes quickly then sat a doodled hearts all over them. My notebooks were full of sketches of hearts and love poems. I wandered out of my eighth period classroom and down the school hallway. I stopped short when I got to my locker. It was decorated with paper hearts and streamers. I opened my locker to find a red paper heart with the words, 'Come to the front of the school at 3:35.' I had fifteen minutes. I quickly grabbed the books I needed for homework and dumped my other books. I slammed my locker and ran. My backpack bouncing on my back, hair flying and the paper heart clutched tightly in my right hand.

I slowed to a stop when I saw him. It was James. He was standing there in jeans and a jacket. His brown hair was mussed and he was smiling at me. "James!" I ran to him.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug. "Hey, Addie." He said in my ear. His breath was warm and he smelled like peppermint and cologne.

"James, I missed you." I ran my hand through his hair and dropped the paper heart so I could pull him down to me. Into a deep kiss.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She tasted like chocolates and mint. She must've had some candy earlier. I had spent hours planning my visit. Hours of phone conversations with her parents, hours of working at a local store to save up the money to be able to go and hours of planning exactly how to surprise her. I had missed her. Tears sprang into my eyes as I remembered how much I had missed her. "I missed you, too." I gently kissed her forehead. "I missed you so much."

She was crying and laughing all at the same time. "Why are you here? How did you get out of school? How long will you stay?"

I laughed. "I'm here for the whole week until Sunday evening. I came to see you! It took a lot of convincing but my parents let me." I smiled and looked her straight in the eye. "And it's already totally worth all of the extra school work."

"I've missed you so much!" She said and she kissed me again.

I laughed and pointed to the camera. "You do know your dad is filming us, right?"

She turned and quickly grabbed my hand and we ran out of the school together. "Not anymore!" She cried laughing and gripping my hand tightly in hers.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Hey Babe. What are you watching?" Maddie sat on the couch next to me. Her blue eyes sparkled with curiousity. She was a friend of my roommate and I couldn't deny that the attraction between us was mutual. But a piece of me still missed Addie.

"A video from when I was in highschool." I shrugged casually. I turned it off.

"Really?" Maddie turned the dvd back on. The next part was from junior year... no I didn't want to see this part.

"No! Give me that remote! Turn it off!" I reached to stop her but my eyes were fixed on the screen. The moment that I had avoided reliving for 5 years now was playing on a television screen.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Hey, Addie." I walked into her bedroom. She was sitting on her bed with her back to me. "I'm sorry about what you saw back then. It was an accident. I'm not cheating on you. I promise."

Her eyes turned towards me. She had been crying. "GO AWAY! I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" She threw a pillow at me.

"Addie... Baby." I tried to be coaxing. I hadn't meant to hurt Addie. I had been going out with another girl, but only as a favor to the other girl who was being made fun by some people who said no one could ever like her. I dated her a few times to show everyone that she wasn't so bad. But I hadn't expected Addie to come and visit me and accidentally see me with the other girl.

"Just leave. I don't ever want to see you again."

"Addie." I was going to cry. This hurt like hell. I didn't want to leave.

"LEAVE!" Addie screamed.

Addie's father walked in and gently told me. "Please leave James, just give her some time. Call in a few weeks... then you can come see her."

I left. But I was crying. Somehow I knew that things would never go back to the way that they had been.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I didn't want to see James. He came to see me once a week, every week for three months. Then, he gave up. I kept telling myself it was better this way.  But I missed him. It's been 5 years. I'm graduating college in only a week. I lay there in my bed and stared at James' number in my phone. As if by it's own will my finger hit the call button. It had been years... maybe he wouldn't even remember me.

She picked up on the second ring. "Hello?"

"Um. Is James there?"

"No. He's busy. Who is this? A classmate of his?" Who was I speaking to?

"I'm just... Nevermind. Thanks for your time. Tell James..." I struggled for words. "Don't bother to tell him I called." I hung up and put my cellphone in my nightstand drawer. I pulled on a jacket and a pair of sneakers. Quietly, I locked my apartment and wander into the early morning air.

The park next to the apartment complex was silent and empty. Budding cherry trees stood like sentinels around the winding pathways and various plants that within the next month would bloom. It was supposed to be only another week or two until the "hanami" season would begin. Even after living in Japan for nearly four years, I was always awestruck by the cherry blossoms or "sakura" when they bloomed. It was like a light pink snow... but right now everything was somewhere between a winter gray and a spring green.

Just like my life... somewhere between broken and happy.... in the middle of a healing process.