Another Life

Merry Giving of the Thanks

You hated yourself for the longest time, fighting with some other being in your head. How'd you know it wasn't just you?
Because even through the negative comments on yourself as a whole, you stayed chipper and energetic.
Your Irish buddy encouraged you to.
Always.
Maybe Mark encouraged you as well, but by now he was just a faint memory. You already presumed that he'd long forgotten about you. Some part of you said that it would be better for the guy if he did. So you stopped caring about how he might feel. Or you tried.
An alter-ego type of secondary mindset always managed to whisper different things. You had come up with the conclusion that she was some demonic entity with how things worked at night.
Most nights were peaceful and filled with story ideas you'd never write out.
And some nights were filled with small knives and bleeding sides. And thighs. But the thing that gets you?
You were always too scared to die or feel physical pain. You couldn't ever do that yourself.
Those nights you'd just stare in the bathroom mirror of your adoptive parents' bathroom, watching your ( suddenly / already ) baby blue eyes switch from white to black. You'd bully yourself trying to fight it off, sometimes crying for some reason or another with the weapon between your teeth.
Your adoptive parents, Marrian and Jethrol, just assumed the crying was you grieving over your mothers' death.
You told yourself how cancer wasn't really a thing you could force into anyone. Right?
. . . . Right?
You still blamed yourself for not noticing earlier. You were an ignorant child with most things, and that just pissed you off.
You found a way to push through it though.
Mar and Jeff had gotten you a PlayStation since you always talked about how fun it was to play it. You had your Xbox too, which confused you why they didn't just get you new games for that instead of a completely different system. But you didn't vocally complain.
You lived in a comfortable house with another girl around your age- a little older, you found out. You had been born on May (B/D), and your adoptive sister was born on Valentine's Day.
She had blonde, curly hair that rested over her shoulders most of the time. Light freckles dotted under her eyes and over her high cheeks, with a much cuter childish facial structure. Her large blue eyes sparkled with pure excitement, her grin a perfect one when flashed.
She also had social anxiety, but her depression was much deeper than your own. She'd failed at scuicide a couple of times before giving up and going to secret places to release it.
You were too scared to try.
To try without an outer influence, anyway.
You two got along perfectly, growing in-sync over your high school years.
She'd introduced you to her wacky group of friends as well, and the school you all went to was more reserved with their distaste in another student.
Myah was a chunky, beautiful woman, a few months older than you both. She'd been born in September, and her loud personality overtook her zodiac one. Her darker hazel and blue eyes managed to steal your breath, though you never mentioned how in love you were. Her reddish-brown hair with sea green highlights and tips bounced in curly waves on her shoulders. Her grin was always there, sparkling and lighting the whole room. She was the authority figure of the friend family, and had been the one to help you all figure your sexuality. And therian spirits.
You couldn't unlock one no matter how hard you tried.
You ended up figuring that you were Demisexual, but half the time you figured you were asexual.
You weren't aroused as easily.
Not until your second boyfriend, anyways.
Natara originated from Greece, quickly adapting to the American lifestyle of Nebraska. She was the quiet seeming type, usually bringing up facts or referencing video games or fan fictions. Her dark hair was in a bobcut, adorable dark brown eyes sparkling behind her own pair of reddish-black glasses.
You yourself had oval (G/C) ones.
Then there was Hunters' - your adoptive sister - boyfriend, Tod. He was the strong silent type, only really talking to Hunter or being bugged by the other theatrical member, Myah. He had thin blonde hair that rested next to his ears, always staying clean cut, unlike his lazy attire.
Another friend was introduced to you, who you quickly grew attached to as well. (G/P) was named (F/N). (G/P) had (H/L) (H/C) hair, with a (F/T) that you admired. (G/P) was rather (B/T), but you didn't mind. (F/N) was perfect to your rather accepting mind.
You always had a crush on the bouncy woman Myah, but you assumed it was because of her energetic personality that reminded you of Sean.
Natara reminded you of Mark.
It only made it worse, really. But you acted like it didn't effect you.
Your second boyfriend was a sturdy twig type of guy. It was weird how you could see your step father in him. He had more bipolar energy, given he just acted to cover his own demons. You didn't know how one person could have more than one, but it was more because you didn't go out often. You only have one, whom you deemed (A/N).
You call her Recked for a cover up.
Only Hunter knew about her, since you'd wake up at four in the morning, screaming over a headache or passing out in front of the mirror. Only Hunter knew about your bleeding sides and legs, having been the one to clean and patch them up. It's something you both shared.
Just between you two.
But she didn't know that John - your current boyfriend - also knew.
He took your virginity at sixteen.
You two were lucky as hell that you didn't end up pregnant.
You had to fight him a lot over it, but when he told you how it helped distract him from his own bastards, you gave in.
Always using condoms of course.
You weren't sure how to handle it once you remembered what you and your first boyfriend agreed to.
Wait for each other, or at least until marriage if it didn't work out between you two.
You felt like shit after remembering.
You hurt that night.
And the next week.
No one found out about your bonding times, since you always camped out to do so.
School wasn't too bad on you. You were averagely smart, though school staff told you how you were smarter than average. The only subject you didn't go above and beyond in was (S/N). You couldn't really register it, no matter how hard you tried.
You ended up joining in a simple (C/T) club for school, but you only volunteered every now and then. You more spent your time at the local dance studio, practicing mostly just however the music drove you. You were in love with (M/G), but also a little Dark Indie. Surprising or not, you enjoyed it, and still didn't care one bit.
Dancing was your escape.
Even if it hurt to do so.
Gaming was too, but after the memories hurt too much, you just let Hunter use the PlayStation and Xbox three sixty. She wanted to start a channel on a specific social video site, but you weren't too sure yet.
After a while of complaining and begging with those big blue doe eyes, you two did make a channel. You filled it with videos of your quirky dance routines and practices - sometimes Hunter joined in - and Hunter filled it with covers and speedpaints that you also joined in on.
ReckedDoe.
It was a pretty comical name, but it made sense. More because (A/N) was starting to be around a lot.
Specific events ended up taking place, and by the time Mark and Sean started their own online personalities and gaming videos, you had to move out to an apartment in California.
And you had a demonic counterpart to keep you company.
(A/N) was more of a personality swap than anything.
Instead of (H/L), slightly wavy (H/C) hair, her own was a snowy bleach blonde, intensely wavy and curling over her large breasts. Her body was of the ideal 'hot chick' from several magazines in this generation. Her skin was perfectly pale, and if no one knew any better, they'd say it was paper white. But you knew how it was a sickly silver, which your alternate told you was abnormal from the usual dirty grey. (A/N) insisted that it just meant she was stronger and better than other demons, which you personally disagreed to. After all, it took almost ten years for her to get to you.
Her style of clothing and social interaction was quite slutty, to be honest. She'd force you to do the most sexual parts of a game that you could, which you slipped past as to not get the channel deleted. Yes, you managed to get your weak ass to start let's plays. It was relaxing to you. And no matter how many times Manly Man and his Petty Son failed you in the comical platform game everyone loved, it made you, Hunter, and all your watchers laugh yourselves into a pained stomach and sides.
It wasn't pleasant when you laughed though. Even though you matured and grew into a rather attractive - yet still not curvy enough nor large-chested - woman, you hated other parts as well.
(A/N) drained most of the light in your eyes, leaving behind dull (E/C) eyes. Your laugh was a mix of loud to silent for five minutes, or embarrassing hiccups for air. You grew a habit of covering your lips most of the time, or biting at your lip when it was peeling or you were uncomfortable. Your legs would stay crossed at almost all times, unless at home.
(A/N) had convinced your old boyfriend that you weren't worth it, nor ever really loved him. This caused him to commit scuicide and run his truck off the cliff you two always used to visit.
You almost drowned yourself when you heard the news.
Myah, Natara, and Tod no longer spoke to you afterwards, scared of (A/N) and yourself. It took until your twenty fourth birthday for Natara to say anything to you.

( Friday November 20th - 10:48 AM )
( Subject: HIII!!! - Sean )
( Sender: Sean.McLoughlin.septic@(G/B).(com/org) )
Dear (Y/N),
Hey! I'm so sorry I didn't ever contact you until now I wasn't exactly able to afford it until now! Internet mailing is great, isn't it??! But yeah again, so sorry dear! But anyways, what's going on? It's been forever since we've spoken together! There has to be something to strike up a conversation! I can start if you need me to??'
Your heart almost leapt out of your throat, you forcing tears back down as you responded.
He remembered you after all.
( Sunday November 22nd - 1:35 AM )
( Subject: HIII!!! - Sean )
( Sender: ReckedDoeInfinite20s@(G/B).(com/org) )
'Dear weirdo,
Hoi! Yesyes, it's great to hear from you again. And no, no need to apologize drinkin' buddy. I get it. And whatever you wanna do, bro.'
The silly dear whatever continued, as well as the interweb mailing for the next few weeks. Sometimes his font would become different and broken, which concerned you. He just brushed it off as messing with the style until Angela got home one day and found out. She was too exctatic to care about your feelings as she responded to Sean.
It ended up that your close friend had to put up with his own demon as well. He called him Antisepticeye.
The counterparts ended up having their own emails to send nudes and whatever. But so long as it didn't affect you or Hunter you didn't care. You had someone to talk to, apart from Natara. You didn't care anymore.
Life was working itself out.
So was working a side job of commissions.
Life was okay.

You tried to talk to Mark discretely through commenting on his videos. In hindsight, it would have been better to just email him. But you were too scared of rejection. He didn't respond as much as Jackaboy did, but you didn't mind.
You eventually got an interweb letter from a guy named Wade.
( Tuesday December 29th - 4:38 PM )
( Subject: Hi Mark's Friend!! )
( Sender: (W/G)@(G/B).(com/org) )
'Hey there!
I'm Wade, a friend of Mark's. I was just wondering if you really knew him or are just some fan girl?? Because you are all over his comment sections. Sorry but that seems weird. Also, there are two people on this channel??? So sorry if I'm talking to the wrong one. Bye!'
Hunter ended up finding that online letter while making a 'de-lettering' video. You had been watching on her bed, unable to find motivation to help. The channel subscribers questioned you a lot on it, but you passed it as a really lazy day. You don't remember doing so, but when editing the video, you notice that you looked panicked at Wade's words. Were you really that tired? Sheesh. You replied in the description, explaining that it was private how close you two had been, but yes. You'd known Mark when you two were rather young.
It took a few months - one or two from your birthday - before some anonymous person sent a letter. They seemed to forget to label it until the very end.
It simply talked about how they didn't really remember you, but still wanted to meet you at ComicCon next year. It also gave a rather recognizable email to contact them by. The only hint at who it was was a cursive capital D at the very bottom. Weird.

That's when life took a rather unsubtle turn.

( G/B = Gmail Browser
G/P = Gender Pronoun
B/T = Body Type
F/T = Face Type
F/N = Friend's Name
W/G = Wade's Gmail
C/T = Club Type
M/G = Music Genre )

( Question: Who do ya'll enjoy more? Also, sorry if I got anything mixed up or wrong. If you think I made a mistake with dates or information, please let me know. Boi'ya!~ )