[Naomi]
Wow. Has it really been a year since the shit tragedy at the wedding?
Sorry, you must be confused. Let me explain.
As you know, Jibbles and Mr Stilinski got married (unexpectedly) and during the wedding, Natalie decided it would be fUN to grab a tub of shit from the kitchen and dUMP it over everyone.
Not smart Natalie. Not. Fucking. Smart.
An hour after she covered us in that hot tub of shit, something seemed off. Other than the fact that it was elephant shit that had been sitting there for 10 years. Suddenly, the whole wedding BLEW UP.
There were many tragedies, many indeed. We had to say goodbye to the love of our lives (well, that's what we thought at the time). Joe and Sprayberry unfortunately died in the explosion, along with Jibbles and Mr Stilinski. And other irrelevant people.
Natalie and I were also harshly affected by this shit explosion. Our faces were blown off, therefore with some kind donations by Kim and Kayne, we got plastic surgeries and now look completely different.
"You look like a character off Teen Wolf." Natalie tells me.
"And you look like a Victoria's Secret model." I say back.
We both laugh.
Miley and Jennifer have been happily together since, adopting 52 kids and counting. They don't go to school, instead, Miley just teaches them how to twerk. "Who needs education when you can twerk like me." She said.
Kim and Kayne decided to leave us with their house and fly off to Greenland to live in the ice forever, since they've "had enough of everyone's shit". Fair enough tbh.
Then there's Natalie and I, who have new faces and new ambitions. We are still heartbroken by our losses, but I'm sure in the future, we will come to find new loves.
Whereas Trash and Rachel....we have no idea where they are or what they're doing, but we think they had something to do with the explosion. So Natalie and I are plotting our revenge against them, for taking away people we love.
Will we meet new people on the way?
Will we fall in love again?
Will I find someone who can almost kill me just with their looks?
Will Natalie find someone who can do bigger farts than her?
All we know now is that Natalie, Miley, Selena, their 52 kids, and I will find Trash and Rachel and mAKE THEM PAY FOR WHAT THEY'VE DONE.
(My longest yeah boy ever)
XXXXXXX
–A
