A/N:
While I haven't decided whats going to be in the story yet, it might contain things upsetting for people that get upset by stuff.
This could include sexy stuff,or realistic depictions of war that could cause you to get PTSD.
I may also do a rape scene if I am in the mood.
If your the sort of person that moans about that stuff, just dont read it - I am not forcing you too.
Thanks,
impulsehowell
It was a cold day in some place in england.
Dan howell woke up one day and discovered that he was goth. His parents had come to him and told him that he was really adopted and was in fact the decadent of the fallen angel!
So now knowing that dan howell was the relative of the great duke of the night, dan howell saw that he had to change everything about him because he was not really what he thought he was.
But luck would have it that dan howell's best friends h0t phil Lester and Tyler Oakley had heard the news of dan howell's parents and that they had arranged to accompany dan howell on his journey to find himself. First stop....the shopping centre!
At the shoppingcenter dan howell went to all the cool black clothes stores. Now that he was really a half vampire, or as his parents told him, a dhampire (a/n: really, that's what they're called!), his parents had given him a credit card with ulminited funds to become his true self!
But dan howell was really actually very depressed. It was really hard to suddenly discover that your parents had lied to you all those years and it wasn't made it any better by dan howell suddenly remembering a horrible thing of his past. Dan howell was sexually abused! And now dan howell also remembered by who but he didn't dare to tell h0t Tyler Oakley and phil lester because he was afraid that they would discover what had happened to dan howell and why dan howell was depressed!
So while they were picking out black and red clothes and nail polish, dan howell tried to fight his tears by listening to Evanessence. Because for the first time in dan howell's life, he had the feeling someone understood his pain. So dan howell listened to the songs in one ear while using his other ear to follow phil lester's story.
But it was so difficult because dan howell.... really loved phil lester!
Dan howell knew these were wrong feelings to have because... you know, it's phil lester and their love would make life very difficult because dan howell also remembered a prophecy that someone had told him in the past (before he was raped) and that said that if dan howell would ever fall in love with phil lester, that then catrific would find them and kill them!
And as dan howell was putting on some new blood red ankle spikes that went well with the dark black studded dog collar that h0t Phil Lester had recommended, dan howell suddenly saw a glint in the distance and he knew instantly what it was: it was the diamond cock ring of catrific! She had come to haunt dan howell and destroy phil lester!
Arriving at the mysterious shack, dan howell found that there was an item laying on the table in the shack. Around the shack was a mysterious circle drawn in sand or perhaps salt.
"Be careful" said phil lester who as usually was cowardly squatting behind dan howell. (notez: cuz lulz, phil lester is such a tool). Dan howell carefully maneuvered into the shack and on his tiptoes and scuttled forward. The floorboards beneath his feet croaked and dan howell could hear a loud hummer coming from the table. There the Phils Ass laid. Right there for his taking.
But dan howell was clever. Dan howell knew it was a trap!(notez: so obvious lulz!)
So dan howell said to phil lester, "Why don't you take it, it looks safe."
And phil lester was like "Oh, well, if you're sure, I will!"( notez: he so gullablez lulz!)
Dan howell slowly paced backwards and let him to do the taking. Dan howell knew that if it was a trap, phil lester would be triggering it. And then catrific would get him, but not him. Dan howell knew phil lester wouldn't mind sacrifcing himself for him. He always said that.
But forutnately when dan howell grabbed the Phils Ass, nothing happened. Except they were cowardly attacked by ninja's!
They hoped into the shack and fired shurikons at them, but they managed the dodge them quite well (by hiding behind eachother).
They then sneaked away by using the furniture and table as cover for them.
But now with the Phils Ass in their hands, they could take love eyes lester straight on!
--
--
But they knew the battle was going to be fierce!
And when they saw the subscribers of catrific embazzling before them, they had to gather the courage to go forth.
"For God , dan howell yelled.
"For SCIENCE," phil lester said.
"For Loop!" h0t Tyler ejeculated loudly.
And then they all attacked!
And it was a fine spectacle to behold (A/N Oooooh, they're doing such cool things! Like bam! And Zuuuf!! And Pow!)
And then, just when our heroes could not take it anymore, they defeated catrific
The end
THIS IS A JOKE AHAHHAHA
