***WARNING***
Some triggering content about mental health issues.
My whole life I've been told what to do in one way or another. My boss at work, teachers at school, volunteer coordinators, obviously, but my parents most of all. I feel like I've come straight out of a Utopian teenage novel where your life is lived for you.
They decide what I do, what grades I'm supposed to get, what clubs I'm supposed to join, what my career should be, all the way down to what I eat, when I eat, when I sleep, where I sleep, when I get up, where I can and can't go, which friends are good for me, which friends are bad for me, who I can like, who I can date, what secrets I have to keep and what I can share, what color I dye my hair, what makeup, what jewelry, what clothes I wear, how long I stay out, who I can talk to, who I can hang out with, who I can be seen in public with, what I do with my body, what I listen to, what I can post on social media, what I say, what I think, whether I wax or shave, what length my nails are, which school I go to, where I volunteer, what extracurriculars I do, how long I can have my phone for, what apps I can download, what social media I can get, when I'm allowed to move out, where I'm allowed to move to, what I watch, where I study, how long I can study for, what I study, what kind of role model I am, and explain myself for EVERYTHING.
WHY am I talking to her? WHY am I talking to him? WHY am I painting? WHY am I sleeping? WHY am I watching this? WHY are you calling someone? WHY are you on social media? WHY are you texting them? WHY am I staying after school? WHY did I get up early? WHY am I taking a longer shower?
I'm over dramatic for everything. I don't NEED a date to prom, be independent. I don't NEED to take a bath, when I can just take a shower. I don't NEED to wear makeup, shouldn't be impressing anyone anyways. I don't NEED to help with the food drive when I could be spending time studying. I don't NEED a massage, I'm young and don't know what stress is.
Your OCD's nothing, stop being over dramatic. You faked passing out for attention. You faked your depression so you could get out of school. You don't need therapy, get over it. You're not having mental problems, you're just a teenager. You don't know what stress is you're being over dramatic. You don't need someone to talk to. You don't need to go over to a friend's house to work, do it yourself. You don't need to call anyone, just ask them at school. Face timing your group members is an excuse to not study. Your friends are changing you for worse. You don't need social media. You don't need a relationship. You don't need to tell anyone about yourself. You didn't actually get harmed, get over it. Get over it.
GET OVER IT. YOU'RE A BAD ROLE MODEL. THIS IS NOT THE DAUGHTER I WANTED. LOOK AT THEIR KIDS. LOOK AT THEIR GRADES. LOOK AT EVERYTHING THEY DO THAT YOU DON'T. YOUR BODY IS AN OVERSTUFFED SAC OF DISAPPOINTMENT. I NEEDED YOU TO BE MORE EXTROVERTED.
But hun, don't compare yourself to others. You are perfect in your own way. I'm so grateful to have you as a daughter. You have to put on a mask for your sister. Show her who she should turn out to be so she doesn't turn out to be you.
All you care about is yourself. This house is a temporary hotel for you. You isolate yourself from your family so you obviously don't care.
You can talk to me about anything, don't be afraid, but I'll sharpen my knife just in case.
The amount of things about you that disappoint me is too much to explain in my lifetime.
But don't let anyone make you feel any less than what you are.
You have an infinite amount of flaws.
But get out of your goddamn bubble.
***
Just to clear things up this is not from personal experience but merely an observation about how a lot of teenagers in this generation feel towards their parents.
