Kyle: (playing with automatic doors) OPEN! CLOSE! OPEN! CLOSE! OPEN! CLOSE! OPEN! CLOSE!
Kyle's mom: Kyle, sweetie, we have to get our grocery shopping done. Wal-mart closes in 4 hours! We're not going to make it!
Kyle: I can't! The door's closed!
Kyle's mom: <drags kyle into the store>
<Security cameras turn toward them as the walk to the carts>
Kyle: I'm gonna play that! <Grabs someone's money and runs towards a claw machine filled with stuffed animals> Oooh! A fifty! <Shoves all the money in the slot and begins to play> Cool! I broke It!
<Stuffed animals come out one after another and Kyle is buried under them>
Kyle:<Starts putting the stuffed animals in the cart and climbs in> Let's go, mom!
Kyle's mom: <grabs another cart>
Kyle: <Reaches out and grabs 2 brooms from a sale bin and uses them to push his cart> Hey mom why is that lady wearing a spongebob onesie? I love sponge bob! And onesies! I'm gonna buy it! <propels himself to the onesie department>
Kyle's mom: Kyle! We don't talk about people like that, remember.
Kyle: Uh huh <Nods, Starts throwing onesies in his cart. (Pokémon's, Spongebob, superheroes, various animals)>
Kyle's mom: But to answer your question dear, it's wal-mart. And I think you'll fit right in.
Kyle: Great! Now lets hit the candy aisle! <Starts moving his cart again, knocking over a rack of clothes and 2 mannequins.>
Kyle's mom: <ditches her cart runs after kyle> Look what you've done! You ruined that lovely display, and now theirs a worker chasing us!
Kyle: CANDY!!! <goes faster>
Kyle's mom: KYLE! I want you to apologize to that nice man right now, or were not getting ice cream!
Kyle: I want CANDY!!! <Gets a determined look on his face and goes as fast as humanly possible on a shopping cart with a broomstick for a motor>
Kyle's mom: <Sprints after him> KYLE!!! Do I need to get the spray bottle!
Kyle: <Lets go of the brooms and curls up all weak and defenseless> Not the spray bottle.
<His cart crashes into a display of Reeses pieces, which explode everywhere>
Kyles mom: The spray bottle. Where is it? AAAAAHHHH MY PURSE!!!
Kyle: Reese's Peices for all the Wal-mart!
<Random passer-by act like they are in heaven and open their mouths>
Kyle: MORE CANDY!!!
Kyle's mom: NO!!! You have already put Walmart 10...50...100 <stares at the ruined Reeses Pieces display> dollars in debt. AND YOUR POOR MOTHER!!! You made me lose my purse!
Kyle: <Does a backflip out of the cart and into the candy aisle.> I AM THE KING OF WALMART!!! <Runs up and down the aisle, throwing candy in his cart>
Kyle's mom: Kyle! If I had my iPhone right now the police would have you in handcuffs!
Kyle: But I can chew out of handcuffs! Well, the plastic ones anyway. <Climbs up to the top shelf, grabs a 7-pound bag of sour patch kids. He starts drooling. Then he starts shaking. Then he falls.>
Kyle's mom: KYLE! Are you OK?!?
Kyle: <Pops up out of the cart (the stuffed animals and onesies cushioned his fall)> Hey mom look behind you!
Kyle's mom: <Slowly turns around.>
<Behind her is the store employee who was chasing them before.>
Store employee: Ma'am
Kyle's mom: <sheepishly smiles> Yes.
Store employee: We are proud to announce that your son <looks over to Kyle who is chugging a box of Milk Duds> is our one-millionth customer. As the prize, you can keep everything in your cart for free.
Kyles mom: <stares and falls backward into the cart>
Kyle: <Pushes the cart out the door> OPEN! CLOSE!
<Camera go back to the candy aisle>
Store employee: (to the manager) I'm sorry! I just had to get him out of the store!
Manager: <looks straight ahead and nods>Well done, my boy. I'm giving you a promotion.
Store employee: To what?
Manager: Manager, I'm quitting.
