Day 19: 12.03.16

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You doubt yourself just as I doubt that you will ever come across this statement.

And just as I doubt that I am anything you said I was.

But that's all it was wasn't it? Just saying things to make me feel better.

Just to make me feel sane enough to stick around until what you wanted came along.

And she did. And it killed me. But I did not stay gone.

And now here we are. Back at an impasse.

You asking if I will come back. And me,

Struggling to decide to go against what I know is right for my feelings.

I love everything about you. Even the things that I hate.

I hate to love them just as I love to hate them. Simply because it's you.

And I tried deceiving my own mind into believing that I didn't need you.

But again I find myself being drawn back to you.

Yet somehow, I feel as if I never truly lost you.

You've been just out of reach this entire time.

Knowing that at any moment you could come up to me

And we could be what we once were again.

But you didn't until now. Until I made a mistake.

Until I slipped up and talked to you.

Because I never truly wanted to leave.

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