The Order

Memories...

You woke up in a bed that wasn't your own. You recognized the bedroom full of cots from the orphanage where you had grown up before being adopted, you smiled fondly at the little girls playing in the corner. You remembered that little girl like you knew the back of your hand that was Sydneay nauli'io she was the interesting new Hawaiian girl who had come into the orphanage just months after you. She had gentle black waves floating down her back like that of the peaceful ocean blue, her glowing brown eyes flecked with bits of blue. You were eight at the time she just a year younger. Though for her young age she was an amazing speaker already knowing many large words in both English and Hawaiian. You remembered her going into a fury and often speaking in a fury of a mix of her native language and peppering in some terrible words in English.
    You smiled as you watched her hand your younger self a doll that looked an awful lot like the old actress Marylyn Monroe. The gentle folds of the yellowing dress blowing around her as you held her over the large vent in the back of the room that had originally held ten to twenty beds at one time whenever possible. Her words that day had shocked you into a state of pure silence for years.
    " Don't worry Y/N. You are my ohana we will meet again, I will find you in the future."
         You were jolted forward into another dark memory of the past.
     It was the day the mother hen of the orphanage decided it was time you got an education. You dressed in your favorite crimson dress that was in the original style of Marylyn's having seen the doll three years after having hidden away had given you inspiration to base your wardrobe off of the gorgeous blondes. You walked the familiar paths of the winding streets of your home town smiling to yourself. You had gotten many stares and points in your direction, none of them full of malice just morbid curiosity, you walked into the wide enveloping doors of the middle school you had been enrolled in. You had skipped some grades do to your constant love of books so you had a bit of intelligence in your head. At the time your H/C has cascaded down past your tiny hips and swayed as you walked. The teacher had smiled warmly at you and told you to introduce yourself. The faces you saw in the audience, some curious, some uninterested , others contradictory to others outside were full of smug superior malice. You sat down in a desk behind a girl in a short baby pink skirt and a tight shirt that read " free milkshakes" across her chest. Her jewel eyes followed your every move, suspicious and somehow already full of hatred.
    Later that day you hummed to yourself as you got lunch, you mentally cringed at what came next,the girl from earlier showed her true colors as she tripped you up and splattered her own lunch remains on your head.
     " Lookie here a little freak of nature. Think you're better than us 'cause you think you have some better brains than the rest of us?" She sneered her lip curling back over perfect, blindingly white teeth" Well I've got news for you princess you ain't nothin' special. You white orphanage trash who should have never come here in the first place."
The group of caramel skinned teens at the table over were beginning to cover their mouths in silent giggles as they pointed to the sloppy joe crusted in your hair. You blushes and teared up in embarrassment and ran to the nearest bathroom you could find trying to rinse the stuff out of your once beautiful H/C hair. You watched the memory sadly looking after your retreating figure.
The look of pure joy on her face was like a war goddesses after a victorious battle against her enemy. The fear radiating off of some of the other tables was almost visible as they watched the show she had put on. Some of the guys that had watched the seen from the far end of her table were looking after young you full blown sympathy on their faces. Your face was covered in the streams of the tears running down your face.
The memory was almost to painful to watch as you watched your eleven year old self cry hugging her knees to her chest. Yet another memory...high school.
Your fifteen year old self had stopped at your locker at the time and was grabbing the dusty books for math class. You trembled as you heard loud clacking footsteps behind yourself. The high voice was bad enough when you were younger but now it was ten times worse with ten times as much power behind that small body of hers. Even though you felt it was ridiculous that some one who was five feet to your five eleven should scare you she still did die to the power she had in high school.
" Little D.U.F.F Y/N , you should never have come to this school. We both know I rule here so why don't you take your Dorothy gale innocent act somewhere and show not to those who actually care about you. Maybe thats why your parents abandoned you at the old rundown orphanage or maybe they should have just had you aborted. They probably thought it was better at the time then looking at their own  reject of a daughter/son." She sneered with her signature lip curl, her Barbie in pink clones trying to mimic it with much much less power.
You leaned back against the tin door of the golden rod locker and watched as she sashayed down the hall to her boyfriend the most demanded artist in school. You had been insanely jealous at the time due to your wishes of being with an artist yourself you had always loved the thought of him sketching you in the privacy of his room,or writing you a song and performing it live to the school. After that fateful day however your mind had different thoughts about life. You had been given a black switch blade by one of the caretakers in the orphanage for protection. You ran home and grabbed it out from under your pillow and began to draw criss cross on your skin trying to leave as many scars as possible so you would bleed out. Just as everything faded to grey you remember one caretaker finding you and immediately calling mine one one and carrying you to the ambulance himself.
You watched as the end of that memory faded to gray and then you knew it was just a dream. Although you wished you could erase that particular part of your past. You glance down at the scars on your wrist running your eyes up your arm to the final cut that should have killed you.. the deep gash across the base of your throat, the doctors had called it a miracle on earth that they hadn't lost you although nobody could explain why. Just then you heard a gentle voice calling out your name.
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A/N
Woah your past got kind of dark huh? We've all been there and wish we could erase what we've done I the past though. So sorry for the dark chapter by the way guys* smiles shamefully* every story has its dark times...
The tattoo above is lilyths..