The Boy Who Fixed Her | discontinued

Chapter Three

—Chapter Three—
✦ A R I A N A ✦
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I did not care what was going on around me. I just focused on the song lyrics. The noise of the bus was a distant buzz, and Rixton kept quiet, staring out the window, apparently thinking intently.

I closed my eyes, letting them slide closed for barely a few seconds. . . Sleep immediately pulled at me, tantalizingly near but so far away. I couldn't let go, not now. I had spent all night awake, listening to music and writing. I knew it was risky; the earphones would block out any sound which would leave me practically defenseless, unable to know if someone was coming or not. If I got busted, it'd all be over. Luckily, I was safe until morning.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I jerked around, suddenly awake. I need coffee, I thought, blinking. Glancing beside me, I saw Rixton looking at me with emotionless eyes. It was so hard to read him nowadays. Then again, when was it ever easy? I could never tell whether he was mad or just impatient with everything in general (there was a difference), or if he was genuinely sad or simply having an "existential crisis". I could go on forever.

"You seem exhausted," he commented. I scoffed. "Do I?" I asked sarcastically, examining my hands. My nails were horribly uneven, worn down from many months of repetitive chewing. It was awful, I knew, but I couldn't break the habit. It only got worse as time went on.

"Yeah. Did you get any rest?" He pressed, and I decided to be truthful. "No," I admitted. "But it's fine, really. I'll get some tonight, I promise. Yesterday I was just distracted." I smiled to prove my point. You smiled with Rixton today on the bus, but. . . I didn't finish my thought.

"Mhm. . ." He muttered, skepticism clear in his tone. I decided to change the subject. "So," I leaned over and wiggled my eyebrows at him. "Any crushes? I heard you are," I raised my voice for good-measure, "Quite reliable with the ladies!"

"Shut up!" He hissed, glowering at me. That sure did it. I smirked. "Isn't it true?" I continued, and he buried his head in his hands, grumbling angrily. "You're embarrassing."

"Don't be shy!" I nearly yelled, and Rixton smacked my arm, not enough to hurt, but enough to get me to stop. "I don't have a crush," he growled. "Now be quiet!"

I knew he didn't—I was just having fun messing with him. I enjoyed it, maybe a bit too much. I remembered a time where I thought I had feelings for Rixton. As if on cue, my stomach gave a nervous flutter. But I knew the emotions weren't as strong as they were before. All my earlier "love" dreams had evaporated. Boys were something I had talked to Suzan about. I had actually discussed Rixton with her, which didn't end well, seeing as he had been behind me when it happened. . . Still, despite the first-hand shame and cringe, I had moved on. We were just friends, and maybe it'd blossom into something more, but if it didn't, well, I wouldn't freak out about it. Hell, if Rixton wasn't even into females I'd still be fine.

"Yo!" Rixton called, waving a hand in my face. On instinct, and due to the song blaring into my ears, I blurted, "What time is it?"

Rixton was obviously confused and my face turned red. "Sorry," I mumbled, forcing myself to grin. "Hey, um, we're almost at school, right?" If the bus had stopped any other time, I didn't notice. I couldn't even recall if there were other bus stops. I had so much piled into my mind, useless information just spilled out of me. Talk about a brain fart, I grumbled to myself.

"I think so," Rixton replied. "That was what I was trying to talk to you about."

I shrugged, dreading classes. I ran a hand through my hair and then clenched my jaw, finally peering around me. People were engaged in different conversations, giggling and whispering to themselves or laughing loudly, nudging each other and talking in raised voices.

I found it fascinating, watching them all. I didn't know why, but I marveled at the way they could all be so carefree. Or at least appear to be so. I saw one girl sitting beside another, smiling, though I could tell it wasn't proper. It didn't reach her eyes. I noticed that the skin beneath them was smudged, and for a moment I was alarmed before I concluded that it was foundation.

Apparently, some people had their own struggles, too. Not that I hadn't known that before, but I just started actually acknowledging them since recently. It was as if I had been opened up to a whole new perspective. I wasn't sheltered anymore. I didn't find the 'inner' happiness within me when times got tough. But yet, I was still me. It was hard to explain, but I understood the change within myself.