Dear Diary,
My laptop has died four times now throughout the night, my histories filled with sites to find birth parents yet i havent gotten the courage to type in my name or even search the parent database. Each website speaks the same adult language trying to make giving your child away humanly right. My fingers linger over the keys just fighting the urges to type anything into the searchbar find who i really am. Would my name be the same? Would I have grown up that same?.... These questions circle my head but I'm too afraid to find out. Maybe my "parents" will talk with me about my mother help me find out who i am and who i would have been. I need to know I need to know. No matter how many times my brain chants it i cannot bring myself to search. Maybe closing my laptop was a good idea maybe just sticking to what i know is the best for me.... Maybe just maybe but i do no know.
