Fool Me Again | Harry Styles

4 | Last Christmas

I locked myself in the television room, which was dark and quiet. I felt like a complete idiot – for getting caught under the mistletoe in the first place, for getting carried away, and then also for bolting like that.

After a month of trying to get myself together – and actually thinking that I had made some progress – it appeared as though I was still just as much a mess as the day I had first seen those pictures of Harry with his ex.

And not only that. That kiss had just brought back so many memories, and just highlighted how, in the expanse of a year, everything had changed so much and gone so wrong. It made tears well up in my eyes to think that today – the day before Christmas – would have been mine and Harry's one-year anniversary – if we'd still been together.

I sank down on the big white couch strewn with throw cushions and buried my face in my hands. I couldn't help but think back to Christmas Eve of the previous year.

Harry and I had been friends for months and flirting for weeks, and finally – at a big celebrity Christmas Eve house party – we'd made sure we 'accidentally' got caught under the mistletoe.

It had been our first kiss, and right after, Harry had officially asked me to be his girlfriend. It was surely one of the best nights of my life.

And now, a year later, after yet another mistletoe-kiss, it was possibly one of the worst nights of my life.

Suddenly I heard someone fiddling with the door-handle. Even though I knew it was locked, I still jumped, and sat completely still, afraid to death it might be Harry. There was no way I could speak to him now, with the state I was in.

"Emily? It's me, Danielle," came a voice from the other side of the door, and I breathed a sigh of relief. "Can I come in?"

I paused for a moment, then got up from the couch and headed over to unlock the door and let her in.

"Hey," she said, visibly concerned. "Are you okay?"

I sighed and headed back to the couch, Danielle following hesitantly. "No," I mumbled, sitting back down.

"Louis said something about mistletoe..." she probed. When I didn't react, she added curiously, "Did you kiss?"

"Yeah," I murmured. Then quickly looked up at her and clarified, "Me and Harry – not me and Louis."

"Yeah, I know," she giggled. "Although I wouldn't have blamed you if it had been Louis; the rules are the rules."

"That's exactly what he said," I sighed. "So... you don't think it meant anything, then? With Harry? He just did it because that's the rules?"

"You and Harry?" She slowly came over and sat down next to me. "You two together always mean something. Don't you know how hung up on you he still is?"

"He told me he loves me," I deadpanned.

"Just now?"

"Yeah."

"Well then there you have it!"

"I just..." I shook my head hopelessly. "I just feel like I can't take him back this easily. That's what I want to do, so badly... but how am I supposed to trust him? I don't want to end up looking like a fool if he just breaks my heart again."

Danielle sighed understandingly. "Look babe, he made a mistake. We all make those. And he regrets it so terribly much. You don't think he talks to Louis about this stuff, and then Louis talks to me? Harry couldn't stop pestering Louis to make sure you came tonight."

"What?" I looked up at her. "Really?"

"Yes," she smiled. "He really wants to make things right – but I don't think he wants to push it or force you. So maybe talk, before you kiss again? Because the only thing the rest of us want to see is you two getting back together. You're literally my OTP."

I couldn't help but smile at that, and even laugh a little – but then the reality of it all settled right back in and I lowered my head again. "I just don't want to get my hopes up."

"I think in this case maybe you should. You two belong together, and you deserve to be happy." She reached out and gently touched my knee in a supportive gesture. "Anyway, we're about to open the gifts. You're joining us, right?"

I held my breath. I really didn't feel like facing all those people right then – especially not Harry – but I couldn't hide out in the TV room alone like a pathetic loser forever. So, "Yeah, I guess," I said reluctantly. "I think I'll just go fix my face first." 

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