The True Story of Christmas

A Case of Amnesia... What's Amnesia?

Blood is red,

Blood is red

We will all die soon

And I just forgot the rest but that is okay too...

Nick HATED surprises. He HATED, HATED, HATED them. Oh why did there have to be so many surprises that day???

First, the "dead" old man that Nick had killed opened the door to the unfashionable cottage... But Nick's brain told him that happened the day before. Nick, being the King of Evil and Death, did not care.

Then, the forest of tombstones of the penguins had made his knife invincible. Even seven-year-old Nick had to admit that was an awesome surprise.

But then the annoying reindeer head with a bloody nose popped up and started rambling and talking nonsense, about poison and being drunk and killing. Nick didn't mind the killing part that much, since death rules everything, but anything else, he wanted to fall asleep while listening.

After, the old man once again disrupted Nick's evil, murdering life. WHO EVEN HAS A JAIL IN THE NORTH POLE ANYWAYS?

Next, Nick landed in what he thought was going to be the softest, fluffiest pile of snow, but it turned out to be a secret entrance to an underground lair. NICK FELL ON HIS HEAD FOR A TOTAL OF THREE TIMES BECAUSE OF THAT LAIR!!!

And finally, the evil bloody-axe murderer that Nick was trying to find and sneak up on and chop off his head SNEAKED UP ON HIM FIRST!!! AND THE MURDERER MADE HIM SMILE AND LAUGH!!! AND HE CLAIMED TO BE NICK'S DAD!!!

To be honest, Nick liked the sound of the murderer being his dad better that his actual dad back at the North Pole being his dad.

His North Pole dad always made him eat vegetables and clean up his room and do boring, normal stuff... though Nick did miss Noel...

His possibly-lying-and-tricking-him-dad/evil murderer/Nick's most hated person was okay with Nick murdering and killing innocent people/reindeer. In fact, he even encouraged it. His possibly-lying-and-tricking-him-dad/evil murderer/Nick's most hated person maybe even shared Nick's passion for blood and evil acts of bad and killing!

Back to the now...

Nick's smart killer seven year old brain told severely scolded Nick for laughing and forgetting about his goal to kill the killer. But Nick's smart killer seven year old brain also told Nick that he could pretend to like the evil murderer and kill his fake-but-maybe-not-fake dad.

So Nick was so proud at his smart, smart, smart killer brain and continued to laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh until Nick forgot what he was laughing about and stopped. You could say he had a sudden case is amnesia...

"What's amnesia?" Nick asked.