Mindless brain poops

More Like a Mindless Brain Wander...but oh well

Even in my darkest hours you still hold me close, you stay by my side. I know I am not easy to deal with whether I am on my good side or not, yet you choose to stay........why? What reason beckons you to stay? What makes you put up with me as you do? The main thing I ask myself is "why do you stay with me? I am so hard to deal with. So many say that I am far from hard to deal with yet they turn around and walk out of my life. So what makes you stay? Am I just a doll that looks like it needs fixing and that is the only reason your here? Is it to fix a broken heart and then leave? I am scared because so many have said that they would be here for me and things like that. There is hardly anything that I have not heard before............I am scared.............I am scared that you will just leave as the rest of them did. It does not matter how much you promise that you will stay. They all said that at one point and time. So what is to keep you from just leaving? What is there for you to stay for? I don't have any real talents worth watching or hearing, I am not pretty like the rest of the girls out there, and I have no impressive personality to take notice of. I have nothing that captivates an audience or just one person, so why do you stay? Why me of all people? Why am I the one you take the most interest? What has captivated you so much about me to make you want to stay so badly?"

How can I be the light of someone else's life when I cannot even find the light in my own darkness? You bring the only light into my dark world that I can ever find. I guess light is not my thing, but I guess that is more of your thing because you seem to shine a lot a light off of the way you live your life. I bring the dark to the light and you bring the light to the dark. I do not understand how we get along so well, but I am glad that we get along as well as we do. Honestly, I couldn't understand how one person could bring so much light into my life after such a bad breakup that I have been through, the relationship itself was ok in the beginning but towards the end it became unbearable. I appreciate how patient you have been with me since day one. I do not think anyone has been this patient with me before. I am mainly scared that I will mess up and you will leave..........I am just scared that something so amazing will just disappear out of my life like every other amazing thing that has happened to me. Life has a horrible way of reminding me that all good things must come to an end at some point and time. Life always seems to remind me in the worst ways possible as well. I just don't want this good thing to ever come to an end. Yet I fear that my own fears and my own goals in life will just get in the way, I am afraid that with my strong ambitions in the job field that I wish to go to will differ from the life you wish to live. I have always had a dream of traveling and seeing the world for myself, and yet here recently I have had the job idea of a graphic artist. My outlooks and goals in life differ so much yet I peruse those dreams and goals that I make for myself, whether they are realistic or not. I have also slowly started to realize that those who choose to not stay by my side are those who do not share the same ideals as me and do not wish to be a part of who I am becoming and that I cannot hold onto every person that walks into my life. No matter how badly I might want to hold onto some of the people that walk into my life, I simply cannot do that no matter how badly I wish to hold onto them. I hope you do not become one of those people but yet I understand if you do, I am not the easiest to deal with or the easiest to agree with when it comes to my ideals. Once I have an ideal set for myself it is rather hard to change me of those ways, especially if I set them on my own. Yet no matter what I hope you stay till the end, that is my hope...............