So, since middle I have a crush in a girl named Allison. She is a quiet kind of a girl, with a bob cut, black thick eyeglasses, and a bit chubby. She is somewhat has this aura that makes people avoid her. Or an introvert in some sort. But I don't think that she is like that. I often see her together with some girls from the other classes eating lunch or going home together. She also receives call a lot that's why she always asks for our teacher to excuse her out. So I concluded that she's a friendly girl. The people are just aren't.
My crush continued until we became high school students. I'm a bit lucky because since then we belong in the same class. But I never had the chance to talk to her. She grew her hair a bit but still close to a bob cut. Her eye glasses became thinner, but she remained that chubby girl. Now in High school, she became invisible. Invisible, because people almost never sees her. Nobody notices her presence nevertheless Allison talks to them. But despite that I never stop looking for her.
One day, I am having a hard time in my history class so I skipped and went to the library to sleep. I was looking for a perfect spot away from the librarian when I noticed a girl in a corner of my eye. It was Allison sitting in a four-seater table sleeping with her head resting in an open notebook and a hand still holding a pen. She is right beside the open window with curtains flying slowly atop her head giving off an innocent sight. I blushed. I never saw her like this before. My heart thumped so hard that I got worried that she'll wake up from a heartbeat sound in this quiet room.
I sneaked in closer to her wondering what she's doing. It seems that she fell asleep and didn't notice the bell that's why she's still here. It looks like she's writing something, a story perhaps. I learned from the past that Allison wanted to become a writer. Well, I'm the only person paying attention at her during that time so I tried my best to become knowledgeable in language and literature. In order for her to notice me I tried doing stuff that she might like.
I wanted to read what she's writing but she's covering the notebook. Not until a wind came, blowing some papers besides her fluttering it down the floor. I picked it up and decided to read some of the lines. It started like... "And he entered the room with only robes in rose color. He looked like a man who got his virginity take-."
What was that? I tried re-reading the phrase again and was quite shocked to realize that indeed there's the word 'virginity' on it. I continued reading and paused at the very end of the sentence... what the heck is this girl writing? I took another paper and read it and found the same idea but this time words like 'horny', 'smut', and even 'lemons' are included! So, Allison wanted to become a writer. Yes, that's good. But an Erotica Writer.
Well, there's no problem with that. An Erotica BL writer. Okay, that's only what my mind can handle. Allison is writing an erotica novel with men falling in love as the main character. I guess I just got my first heart attack.
Allison is waking up so I quickly returned the papers back and went running outside the library, attended my history class, and sat down in my chair still buffering with my latest discovery - the girl whom I had a crush on is writing an erotica novel, a BL.
But man, I really, really, really like Allison a lot so I decided to search about girls like her. I mean, I heard some girls who like this stuff so maybe she's one of them. So, one night, in the corner of my room with lights off and parents sleeping soundly, I opened my PC and searched it at Google. "What do you call girls who like BL".
Five seconds and the search engine were able to show me various results. SO, I learned that Allison is a Fujoshi. FU-JO-SHI. Fujoshis are girls who like to read BL novels. Also, I learned that BL has a lot of names like shounen-ai, yaoi, 801, BXB, and some more (coz I stopped reading until I can still handle it). These girls often fantasize guys in love together, with the heartwarming atmosphere, and a love that last forever. They have this weird motto, "If there's a hole, there's a way." I don't know what that means at first but later realized that it has something to do with the male and female role. Like, yeah, they are both guys so how do they do sex? Obviously they can't... or somehow it has something to do with the suppository.
I somehow ended researching for more until dawn, until my eyes can't handle it at all. Though at the end, I found myself in a bookstore looking for BL mangas. Well, if I really wanted to be noticed by Allison then I have to do it in a Fujoshi way, right? So I look for a manga in the BL section. And I made sure that it is still so early that nobody except me and the cashier will know that I bought a Yaoi Manga.
I am still far from the Yaoi section but I can already feel that yaoi aura. I took a deep breath and started looking at the covers one by one. The covers are somewhat seducing like it was saying 'buy me, buy me'. There's a cover of a boy holding some whip, or a guy hugging a half-naked cute guy, or a guy kneeling down ready to do a BJ. All are too much for a beginner like me. So, I choose a much easy to the eye cover. The title is Boku no Pico, with a guy holding a somewhat attractive looking girl. But I already have the hunch that this is not a girl. Well, this might be light so I bought the book.
I handed the book to the cashier. The cashier is somewhat surprised to see the book as if I made an immortal sin. She stared at me while scanning the code, punching in some numbers, and asking for the payment. Yes, she stared at me while doing those things. She placed the book in a paper bag and gave it to me. Before I left the shop, I think I heard her say "Good luck on reading that."
The school is still at ease with students having their time studying and having fun. I took the chance to read the book during lunch, hiding out to the outskirts of the school where I know nobody will come. It was right outside that empty hallway in the east part of the school where the only person comes are the security guards. But during this time, nobody takes the route.
I sat down in my lunch, saying 'itadakimasu' and started eating. I took the book from the bag and flipped it open. And I guess, if ever eyes have virginity, it was taken. My lunch is also taken. I am taken aback. Yes, everything was taken away from me. I remained holding that book flipped in a certain page like a statue. I didn't move... I can't just move. Why? I thought this manga is light! Then what am I SEEING it now?
I am still in the state of utter shock when I heard footsteps. Footsteps of a person who is right just behind me. I turned my head around, and was surprised to found Allison slightly leaning her body down looking at the book I'm holding. She reached it out and took it from my hand. She flipped the page in a fast manner as if she has an ability read very fast. She closed the book in a soft thud and looked at me.
"So... You own this Manga?" Allison asked, her voice sounded like caramel. Wait, a caramel can't talk. I mean, her voice sounded so sweet.
I nodded. I'm both in the premise of utter shock and happiness.
"Then, you're a Fudanshi?"
Because of researching, I learned that Fujoshi has a male counterpart and they are called Fundanshis. I nodded, still in that mixture of emotions.
Allison suddenly gleam a smile, holding my hand and giving the book back. Her face looks like she found something unnatural.
"I never thought that I'll never found one! But Natsume, you didn't tell me that you like YAOI!" She squealed. I nodded. She knows my name. "Then..."
She took out her phone and took a shot of me. With me posing, looking up at her in still a shock state while holding an open manga showing a certain scene.
"How about we have a nice chat later at school? Can I ask your number?"
And in that moment, my life turned a hundred and eighty.
