Teenage Posts

Chapter 1

1. Guns don't kill people. Psycho polar bears with machetes do.

2. Some people just need a high five.

In the face.

With a chair.

Made of steel.

That is on fire.

3. When you haven't slept in days, and you're finally falling asleep and your cat is like "FEED ME!!!"

(Except for Anne's cat... That thing makes some pretty freaky noises)

4. "I have friends..." starts counting on fingers "Bob, Steve, Fred..."

5. That feeling when you call your pet and it just walks away.

6. When I walk into class late and everyone stares at me like I killed 2 people. I'm like guys give me credit I killed 5.

7. Mom: Why is everything on the floor?

Me: Gravity.

8. When you see your someone you know at the store and they ask what you are doing and you're like, "Oh you know, hunting elephants."