Be a W.I.N.N.E.R. Conquer Bullying

W.I.N.N.E.R.S

I'm being bullied. What can I do?

How can we help youth and even adults become more assertive and handle bullying situations? These seven techniques begin with the least confrontational and go to the more direct. Each letter of the acronym W.I.N.N.E.R.S explains a different technique to combat bullying. Choose the most appropriate one which fits the personality and situation faced by you or the person you know.

With the W.I.N.N.E.R.S techniques explaining assertive responses, a young person can choose strategies which fit their personality and situation best. An adult can help role play a circumstance with that young person about a difficult situation and how an assertive technique could be used to counter a bully. So, if a young person is faced with such a situation, either in person or on social media, and has worked through specific W.I.N.N.E.R.S techniques, the chances of success are much greater against a bully.

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W.I.N.N.E.R.S

W = Walk away in a confident manner

I = Interrupting responses

N = No - Go - Tell

N = Nicely speak to a friend who acts like a bully

E = Extreme and intentional actions by a bully

R = Respectful and kind responses

S = Success against cyberbullying

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W.I.N.N.E.R.S Conquer Bullying

W = Walk away in a confident manner

If a youth see that a potential problem might occur, anticipate it and quickly move away from the trouble. Think. Don't get into a difficult situation if at all possible. 

Knowing when to walk away is wisdom. Being able to is courage. Doing it with your head held high is dignity.

I = Interrupting responses

This technique is a direct, effective response. When faced with a bully, verbally interrupt that person assertively with firmness and dignity and walk away. It may be best to choose a single phrase and practice it. 

"Excuse me, but I'm late meeting a friend."

N = No - Go - Tell

This is most appropriate for a lower elementary student. If a face-to-face situation can't be avoided with a bully, the youth can use a No, Go, Tell strategy. Say NO in a strong voice, look straight at the person, and act confident. GO, leave as quickly as possible. TELL an adult immediately. Again, usually best with younger children.

N = Nicely speak to a friend who acts like a bully

This is a most common type of bullying by a friend. These individuals can be bullies when they tease and make another the target of their jokes. They may not be aware they are being rude. The response used is polite, but gets the point across without a confrontation. Don't just ignore it, speak up. The individual will soon get the idea that these statements hurt and they need to stop. Adults face this same type of bullying in the work place and social interactions. Use of this technique can be effective.

The technique can simply be a 'why' question by itself. It makes the individual think about their bullying statement made and hopefully not do it again. Be respectful, but assertive.

"Why isn't anything I do good enough?"

"Why do you talk behind my back? Just tell me directly."

"Why do you say things that are rude? If I want your advice, I'll ask for it."

"Why don't you include me in the group? I want to take part."

You can use these types of questions to get a response, which can then begin a conversation and thus stop bullying.

E = Extreme and intentional actions by a bully

These individuals intentionally bully another. A more direct response is necessary. This may be the most difficult of the techniques, since we are not used to being assertive in these situations. Act with confidence, maintain positive eye contact, speak with a strong voice, and stay calm. Also, you may need to repeat your strong response. Below are examples of a direct response. As always, if the individual is afraid for their safety, they should leave the scene and tell someone, preferably an adult, as soon as possible.

"Stop."

"Don't touch me."

"That is rude."

"Get away from me right now."

R = Respectful and kind responses

This a technique used by some to turn the tables on the aggressor and compliment them about a situation. It goes along with the saying, "Kill them with kindness." This could be a game changer in the bullying conversation, but some bullies would consider it a weakness.

Example: a disrespectful remark about clothing, ability in sports or school work could bring a respectful and kind response. This may catch them off guard and stop the bullying.

"I always get confused by these math problems; could you help me?"

"How did you learn to throw a ball so well? I should practice more."

S = Success against cyberbullying

Cyberbullying occurs when individuals bully each other through electronic technology. This is a cruel and damaging way to try to hurt another person. Examples may include text messages, rumors or posts on social media, and embarrassing pictures, videos, or fake profiles. Kids who are being cyberbullied are often bullied in person, by many times have a harder time getting away from this type of behavior.

Steps to take against cyberbullying:

Don't respond and don't forward cyberbullying messages.

Tell your parents or someone you trust about these types of messages. Research says that over 60% of youth bullied do not tell an adult.

Keep evidence of cyberbullying. Record the dates, times and descriptions of instances when cyberbullying has occurred. Save, and possibly print screenshots, posts, and text messages.

Block the person who is cyberbullying. You could change screen names, or your cell phone number.

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Also, remember that if you see someone being bullied, or know someone that is, stand up when it is happening, and say something. It will not make you look weak in the eyes of anyone worth it.