Heart Break
I always wondered what heartbreak was like, but now I finally experienced it, and I wish I never did. It feels like a whole world is tearing inside your heart and that you feel the urge to shut down and disappear. It feels like the world is crumbling around you but it isn't, and the people in the world don't know the feeling you have inside, that horrible oozing feeling you experienced. You look through the memories and think how could they have done that to you, after you've had so much happiness in those small unnoticeable moments.
Your heart aches again and anger surges through the veins like a flooded river. Your heart beats in agony, pain and anger flow through the body. You feel the need to punch a wall or smash glass, you feel the need to delete everything, you feel the urge to run up to them and smash their face to the ground....
You know you can't do that last one, but you feel the urge. The urge to run up to them and see their face one more time as a final goodbye, but you know if you either see them, or hear them, or even touch them.
You'll still hold that string of hope within you that maybe...maybe....they are still there, but you know if you did those things, you wouldn't have the strength to let them go, you'll hold on with every inch of muscle power you have hoping they won't leave....but they will, and you know they will.
You try to grab the dust pieces of your heart and glue them together but you can never get that same shape unless someone else helps you, but you feel so vulnerable that no one else can touch it except you, and it hurts.
It's a lovely yet horrible feeling, that you feel in and out of love, whether it was one-sided, two-sided or even if it was a hopeless one to begin with, you just want to hold onto them, but they aren't them anymore, no. They are different, the only thing you are holding onto is pretty much, memories. Even they fade away..
The thing I feel sorry for is no matter what I gave out I'm never going or even got it back. The saddest part is even though we barely hang out, you never once tried to contact me, and the one time you did....
I felt the need to express this as I have experienced it recently, it'll take time to recover but I just had to get it out.
