Baby Steps

Her Baby Steps...

It was a start of another school year. The sky was clear…weather was fine. I was walking on a pathway on my way to the school building. Everywhere you look, you could see the vibrant color of the cherry blossom. Hearing the birds chirping, it feels so good… everything was perfect… seems like nothing could go wrong. I was a transfer student, and it was my first day in my new school. My parents and I had been in different places, always moving to a new home due to my dad’s job. Every time he got to be assigned to different branches of their company, we always have to move, too. I think it’s our fifth times now in moving to a new place to live. If I could remember it correctly, the longest time that we spent in a place would be two years. Since we kept on moving I never had friends. Actually, I never tried to befriend anyone. For me, it would be easier if I don’t... it’s easier to leave a place without leaving something important behind or attached to someone that become special to you.

But then…

I saw you. You were leaning in the window, feeling the fresh breeze of the spring… curving a sweet smile on your lips with closed eyes...hair swaying as the wind blows, a very blissful moment. I could hear my heart pounding in a rhythmic tune. I was mesmerized, frozen at where I am standing… just looking at you. Then, you looked at the side of where I am… Are you looking at me, too? Hmmm, I guess not…

That was the time I thought when I fell in love…

Since that day it became a routine to me. Stopping at that same spot where I saw you. Hoping I could have a glance of you once more. But unfortunately I haven’t got that chance. My eyes even wander around as I walked around the school. But still there’s not a single sign of you. I’m starting to wonder if you were just created by my imagination.

Since I love reading books, I’ve decided to spend my free time at the library… a perfect place to take you off my mind. It’s a nice place to hide one self when a person doesn’t want to be bother or just want to be alone. As I scanned the books in a shelf, my eyes caught something familiar in between the gap space of the books. My heart started to palpitate abnormally. It was pounding so hard that the sound of it became so deafening. It was racing so fast that I can’t almost catch on my breathing. My hands and feet started to get cold. My eyes were fixated at that familiar face. That face seems to be sparkling, radiating a very calm expression… beaming an attractive aura that felt liked magnetizing me… wanting to come closer and closer…

I’ve known a lot of things like this in the books that I had read, but is this how it feels? Is this what they called love? This was the first time I felt this way. I can’t move my eyes away from you. I was totally staring. Ah! Kim Sumi this is not right. Stop it! It’s against your rule. I have to remind myself not to be concern with this kind of things.

Everyday, at that same time, I always saw you there… at the corner part of the library.  The place was bright even if it was covered by the shelves because of the window where the light can passed through… a nice, ideal and quiet reading spot. You were there… with closed eyes… sitting on a chair, holding a book in your lap… leaning your back at the closed glass window… peacefully sleeping. I don’t know if you really read books here or just using it for an excuse so you can sleep there. Then the book you were holding slipped in your hand and fell on the floor. My feet automatically moved in its own, I was striding my way straight to you absent-mindedly. I picked up the book and clasped it with my arms. I was closer to you now… looking intently in your tranquilly closed eyes face as you sleep, looking more handsome up close. I don’t know but I felt so relax just by looking at you. I wonder how beautiful your eyes could be. I bet my heart will melt away with your gaze. My eyes then focused on your small cute red lips. I have this urge of wanting to caress it… desiring to feel the softness of it. But I suddenly become scared…. afraid that you might wake up and see me. I put back the book beside you and decided to leave. A few step away, I turned back to glance at you once more. I wonder if there would come a day that I could touch you. If that day would come, would you walk away?

I contented myself in just watching you from afar… Behind the shelves I hide, being careful in my every move because my small shadow might be seen. But as the day passed, my scrunched up feelings keep seeping out. It becomes harder to contain anymore…

Once again, with trembling steps, I carefully approach you.

One… two… my heart,

Three… four… my breath

Five… six… My entire body walks… only seeing you…

Closer… 

Closer… 

And there I was… standing in front of you once more.

My heart was skipping so fast, my mind was thinking of nothing… my eyes were concentrated on you while you sleep. Little by little, I stepped even closer. I leaned forward… my eyes focused now on your lips as I lowered my face against yours. I hold my breath when our faces were an inch away. Slowly and softly my lips touches yours. Then suddenly I felt the time just stops… seems like everything was at freeze... it was like there was no one else exist… it’s just you and me… just the two of us… and that kiss…

But then, I was startled as you suddenly moved. Alarmed that you might woke up, I backed away and runs as fast I could in my hiding place before you could open your eyes…

As I hide my self again, I was catching on my breathing and trying to calm my self. And it all sink in to me… realizing what just happened. I could feel my blood rushing throughout my body that gave me a very warm sensation. I can’t believe on what I have done…

 I’ve kissed you… Did you feel it? …I totally did kiss you… I peeked at the space between the books to check on you. You where standing there beside the window looking down on the floor… With a serious look registered on your face… your fingers stroking your lips, I wonder what you are thinking. I should be happy… for once I have touched you…

But unexpectedly the following days… I never did see you there again… you’re gone…

I sat there at the very spot you were sitting before. I opened the window and the breeze of the air brushes my face, blowing the strands of my hair. I remember the day that I kissed you, as I looked at you, I thought to myself… the closer I get to you, somehow the more I'm afraid that you'll get farther away. Do I have to regret the day that I approached you and stolen that wonderful kiss?

What is this I am feeling? I don’t understand… why it feels like my heart is being stub over and over. Unknowingly tears rolled down my cheeks. It’s hard to suppress the hurt that I’m feeling. Is this what unrequited love is? Does it have to hurt this way? I should have just contented myself in loving you from a distance. I don’t know anything about you but…

“Hey!” Someone called out.

I turned to see who it was…

And then…

It’s you…

“I’m Baekhyun.” You suddenly said again. 

Today, I walk towards you with tearful steps…

I’ll wait for the day that I will touch your heart,

For the day you will hold me in your embrace…

So with these baby steps…

One… Two… yesterday…

Three… Four… today…

Five… Six… everyday… I will walk towards you.

--------------------♥♥♥--------------------

*I have something in my mind for a continuation on this oneshot, but I have some doubts and I don’t know if you, readers, like this… If you guys find the story interesting please vote, subscribe and comment so I would know if I should write the continuation… THANK YOU SO MUCH ^-^