SDMN Reviews

Two

Ok so this was supposed to be a weekly thing but then uni happened etc so i've finally got some time on my hands, i thought i'd wander around and see what i could find

the first being this:

Local Pitch - 

https://www.wattpad.com/story/74859837-local-pitch-a-tbjzl-fanfiction

Ok so before you decide you wanna read this, it only has six chapters and hasnt been updated since mid september but then tbf my own fic was like that (i updated yesterday though ;) ;) ) so maybe they're just super busy or something

*SPOILERS*

Anyway, for what there is there, I think this fic has a lot of potential. It starts off very realistic, very gentle introduction, its nice. I like how instead of the main character being a fan, kalyn literally had no idea who the sidemen were before she met them. the chemistry between her and Tobi is undeniable and I'd really love to see where that goes.

While there isn't a great deal of detail, its sufficient enough for your imagination to fill in the gaps, making the experience that much more personal; another aspect I like about this fic. 

All in all, if the author decides to continue updating and finish this, it could be amazing, but i'll let you decide :)

the second fic I found is this: 

Don't Leave... Please - @TamiiiJ17 

https://www.wattpad.com/story/47412052-don%27t-leave-please-tbjzl-ff-completed

I've literally just read this entire thing and while its not as long as some FF, it's got everything you could ever want in a tbjzl story. Yeah sure the author maybe could have benefited from some spell check but aside from that, the style of writing very much suits the storyline. 

There's plenty of drama within the 40 chapters to keep you occupied though some of them are quite short. I like the different points of view, they help give the reader some perspective, also it's nice to get into someone elses head. It can be quite difficult to write in the view of one of the sidemen since as well as we think we know them, its hard to know exactly how they'd react in some situations, but i think they've pulled it off quite spectacularly.

If i had any constructive criticism to add, I'd probably say add a little more description to flesh out the chapters, it can help drag out the story, add a little suspense and intensify any dramatic scenes. Other than that, a definite recommendation for you guys.

That's all for now, I'll try find some more to read and review for you guys, feel free to suggest some for me (I have one in mind already but need another cause I like doing them in pairs)

Feel free to check out my Vikkstar123 fic called A Day, and of course have a look at the other fics i reviewed last time. 

Have a good holidays if i don't see you before then, laters->