The Boss's Daughter

09

I jolt up, breathing heavily and covered in sweat. I frantically look around to see that I'm in my room. Moonlight peeks through my thin grey curtains and spills onto my red walls and my grey and white patterned comforter.

     I take a deep breath, realizing it was only a dream. That's so strange. I haven't dreamed about it in so long. I haven't dreamed about her in so long. God, it felt so real. It felt like I was there, going through that all over again.

     I was never the same after that night. I was never that innocent little girl ever again. Those men robbed me of my innocence when they robbed me of my mother.

     Before the whole apocalypse thing, I read a psychology book. It said that traumatic experiences at a young age can warp a child's mind and change them forever. That's a goddamn understatement. It said that some children, depending on the experience, will just become more reserved and depressed, while others will be driven off the rails of "normal behavior." It said it can drive some kids completely mad and cause them lose touch with reality and practically forget what emotions are.

     Whatever. I know what emotions are. I just don't care enough to use them. Emotions are for total saps with nothing better to do than cry about their damn hamster dying. Emotions are a waste of time.

     The book also said that certain traumatic experiences can push a child to violence. Guilty. Obviously. It said that parents need to be aware of the signs like killing small animals at a young age. Also guilty. But in my defense, that fucking dog barked all night until sunrise every single fucking night. And the same neighbors' cat hissed at me and scratched my arm. I don't appreciate anything that makes me bleed.

     I made them both look like accidents. I made it look like they were both hit by a car. I was going to be damned if I was gonna let myself get caught like that. The neighbors didn't notice the difference.

     Daddy noticed the bloodstains on our back porch, though. I didn't do too great a job at cleaning it up. Either time. I didn't think about hiding it from him. Just the neighbors. He asked me about the stains. Only after the cat though. I guess he tried to ignore the stain from the dog when that happened.

     "Eli, do you know how that red stain on the porch got there?" He carefully asked.

     I nodded. He hesitated. I figure he knew what I had done, but he hadn't wanted to believe it.

     He lowered his voice. "Sweetheart, did you hurt the Marshalls' cat?"

     "He scratched me," I said. Then I lifted my sleeve to show him the large scratch. "See?"

     He just sort of nodded. "W-what about their dog last month?"

     "That stupid dog barked all night," I said. "I couldn't ever get any sleep."

     Daddy didn't know what to do then. He hardly reacted. I was only nine at the time, soon to turn ten. How is someone supposed to react to their nine-year-old daughter luring neighborhood animals to their house and stabbing them with a kitchen knife on the back porch?

     I didn't feel bad for it at all. I still don't. Hell, I even took the time to roll them out into the street with my old wagon in he middle of the night to make it look like an accident. I was considerate enough to at least do that.

     We moved after that. Daddy took us somewhere secluded. He managed to find us a house that had a few acres and no other houses within at least a mile. I was reduced to killing squirrels then. But it was ok. They were harder to catch, which added to the fun. Daddy didn't mind the squirrels as much. It didn't bother him as much as the cat and dog did.

     After I've calmed myself down, I lay back down and try to sleep again. I silently beg that I won't dream of her again. I hate thinking about that day. I hate remembering it. I wish that I could forget it.

The next day with Carl is mostly uneventful. We just talked about random things. He talked about his sister, and I talked about... anything other than family. We talked about movies and shows we liked before the world went to shit. He liked anything with any superhero in it basically, and I liked shows like Criminal Minds and Bones.

     We were out until sundown again. He kissed me goodbye, like I practically made him promise to always do, and that was that. It's weird, really. The kissing thing. I've never made a guy promise to kiss me before saying goodbye.

     I've seen other couples in Sanctuary do it, but I never really understood the point of it until I met Carl. You do it because you're afraid of losing the other person before you can meet again. I didn't think I was physically capable of feeling any kind of fear. Granted, it's not a strong feeling. I don't think it can even be classified as fear at all. It's more like worry.

     As I walk home, my mind wanders to Momma. I try to push the thoughts from my head, but it only lasts a few seconds each time. I hate this. Why am I thinking about her so much all of a sudden? It doesn't make sense.

     When I arrive back in town, there's a bit of commotion happening. A bunch of our men are trying to wrangle a strange man that most certainly does not live here. I untie my mace from my belt and pick up my pace.

     "What's the problem?" Just as I speak, two men, Adam and Drew, are finally able to grab the stranger. Their backs are to me.

     "This asshole thought he could just wander in and pretend like he belonged," Adam says over his shoulder.

     "What the fuck do you mean he wandered in?" I scold. "Which gate wasn't guarded?"

     Drew starts rambling. "I-I-I'm really sorry, boss, I didn't mean-"

     I hold my hand up, and he stops. "I'll deal with you later. Turn him around," I command.

     They obey. When they're completely turned, my stomach drops. I feel like I could vomit. It can't be him. It can't be.

     The man sees me and smiles a hideous smile. "Well looky here," he says. The vomit in my stomach transforms into a fiery pit of rage at the sound of his voice. My face drops to a scowl.

     He continues. "Aren't you just the prettiest thing I ever saw?" His smile grows with my rage. His teeth are just as repulsive as I remember. Yellow with brown in between them.