We made out for a little while but I couldn't keep it going for much longer I had to tell Sawyer something important.... Even though it might change his mind on what he wants with me.
" Sawyer I have something important to tell you." He was kissing down my neck at this point when I am talking to him he simply gives me a gentle " Hmmm ?" I took a deep breath and said " Sawyer this May sound weird for someone of my age..... And I'm ok that it might change your mind....... But remember I live you all the same..." He was now looking at me with his bright beautiful blue eyes.
" Yes what is it, I promise I won't judge you." He kissed me on my cheek once I said " Ok Sawyer...... I'MAVIRGINIHAVENOTEVERHADSEXINMYLIFEITHINKITSBECAUSEIHATEMYSELF...." "ok.... Talks a deep breath and say it slowly and clearly..... It's ok beautiful." I took a deep breath and looked at Sawyer he smiled a cute smile I said " Sawyer..... I am a Virgin.... I'm sorry..... I think it's because I hate my self so I don't want anyone else seeing my terrifying body..... I'm SO sorry....." Tears started to billed up in my eyes I knew what was going to happen Sawyer would leave me .
A tear slowly ran down my right cheek, I felt like such a idiot . Sawyer sweetly smiled and kissed where the tear was then said " you know what Queen B ! I'm glad you told me that your a virgin ! And do you want to know why ?" He stroked my hair I slowly asked Sawyer " Why ?" He looked me in my eyes and said " Because it means that it will be even more special and I know this might seem weird but it makes me feel even more special that hopefully you will let me be the one who ruins you ." He gave me a cheeky smile I blushed a little bit he said " So if you will allow me it would be my pledger to be the guy who ruins you ." I portended to think I was a little scared but then I thought no you'll never get this chance ever again go for it ! I said " Mr . Hartman the pledger would be all mine ." He smiled at me and then we where off kissing again .
Sawyer picked me up bridal style after a while and took me off to his bedroom.....
* 1 hour later..*
" I love you." A warm kiss came at the top of my spine, I laid in Sawyers big mussily arms I lifted up my arms and looked at them in the light then Sawyer stroked them and then wrapped them around me and made sure that there was no gap between us. It made me smile he loved me and I loved him. " I love you to." I turned my head a little he kissed me on the lips. We smiled at each other for a while we laid together just feeling the other person next to us.
" Queen B..."
" Yes handsome..."
" you know earlier when you said you hate your self and that you didn't want to terrify anyone with your body what did you mean.... I don't want to kill the mood I just wanted to know....." He gave me a cute scared smile.
" Ok Sawyer you know how I told you that I had a bad childhood and a very bad teenage years and I told you some story's well I think there's something else I should tell you..." I gulped he said " Ok beautiful go on...." " Ok well how do I put this with out hurting you. Ok......well....when I was thirteen I got very obsessed with a actor called Benedict Cumberbatch and I loved him, it was at the same time my depression had started to kick in so I thought it was all about Benedict but it wasn't..... To cut it short..... I used to hate my self and want to completely start again with life..... I used to self harm and if that wasn't bad enough I tried to kill my self five times...." He did not say anything for a while I said " Sawyer honey speak to me.... Please." I looked at him in the eyes.
" I.....You.....what.....no.....fuck..... SHIT !!!!...... I love you..... Please let me try to do what ever I can to make your life brilliant.... I know your stories..... I want to help you." He then kissed the top of my spine again I said " Sawyer I love you to.... I will let you try only of you want to you can brake ou with me and leave it if you want to I won't mind." I turned so I was facing him " I don't mind ! I am not going to leave you ! I LOVE YOU ! You make me happy. You are perfect !" " sure." He looked me in my eyes and said " Sure." We kissed then Sawyer said " Now let's get some sleep." I smiled at him " Thank You for everything." He smiled " It is ok." We kissed again "Ok good night handsome." I kissed him. " Good Night Beautiful." We kissed again and then Sawyer turned the light out, we snuggled up together then fell asleep.
