Don't let go

Chapter 5

September 18th....

Fuck.... no.... this can't be.... uugghhhh this far and now this!!! Why does the world have to make life so much harder!!! It's almost a year and it's like god doesn't want me happy!!!

December 12...

It's our one year anniversary!!! I went to the hospital to see her, I gave her a huge teddy bear with some chocolates. She loved it. She looked worse than before. I thought I'd be able to be happy forever. I don't think I can ever touch anything so beautiful ever again. I feel like I made this happen, I've made her life a living hell. Every living beautiful thing on earth that I touch, dies.

December 19th..

She's gotten way worse, looking at her makes me tear up! Doctor says she's dying quicker than they thought. I started crying. I don't think I can live like this anymore. I went in there and she told be she can't do it anymore, she's hurting and can't live anymore. She doesn't wanna breathe anymore. I cried listening to her talking about death.

January 1st..

I skipped Christmas. No point. I wanna skip out on this holiday to. Hold on, I'm getting a call..

Faith-Hey baby.

Avery-Hey love-bear. What's going on.

Faith-I want you to come to the hospital.

Avery-I'm on my way hun. Be there soon.

30 minutes later..

I'm at the hospital.. I got into the room and gave her a kiss. She hugged me very tight, told me how much she loves me, how much I made her last year count, I walked into her life when she needed me, saying how this isn't my fault, how she thought about our future together every day. I hugged her responded back to all of it kissed her a lot, on the lips, her cheek, her forehead, I kissed her nose to. I left the hospital after giving her tons of hugs and kisses and drove home.

January 2nd..

I'm depressed thinking about all of this, wait, another phone call..

Faith-Babe

Avery-Hun what's wrong.

Faith-Last night was your proper goodbye, right now is the last time you will hear my voice, I love you, I'll see you in heaven my love, look at the positive side of this, I'll be free from all the pain, I won't be hurting anymore, I won't feel anything. I love you SO much..

Avery-*Cries* I love you baby girl!! Can I come to the hospital at least and say my real goodbye!!

Faith-I love you, goodbye baby cakes! *Hangs up*

Hell no, I got in my damn car and drove down there. Once I got into the hospital and I told the doctors about why I was there, they said... I can't believe what I heard. I fell to the ground crying my eyes out. It was so hard. It's sad, knowing she didn't die from cancer.. She put herself out of misery. She pulled her own cord. Doctors couldn't do anything. She instantly died. It was hard listening to all of this.

The end

I miss faith, I wish I could see her know. I'll see her soon enough tho. I gotta be strong like she would want me to be.