To The Moon and Back (Ashton)

Prologue- Three Days Before the Funeral

Prologue- Three days before the funeral

"I love you." I felt a tear escape I wiped it away.

'Stop crying, you have to be strong for him. Please stop crying.' I thought to myself. It was my fault we were in this mess. Maybe if I wasn't so paranoid about being late. Or if I never had the audition.

"I love you too Nat." He said but it came out as a harsh rasp. his huge hands met my cheek, he tried smiling but couldn't quite make it. I gave him a brave smile.

I should have know better from the beginning. This was a bad idea. Maybe if I said no to him the first time this situation would be different.

But I don't want that. Is that bad? Him and I have had great times in this past year. I have met some unbelievable people. People that I thought I would have never met or even would like. But they are all outside waiting for him to get better.

"I am so sorry, this is all my fault. If I didn't push you to drive faster than this would have never happened." My voice was wavering. I bit my lip trying to conceal the tears.

"Natalie Marie Long I never want to hear that. This is not your fault." He said, but again it came out harsh and raspy. Not that he could do anything about it.

Why I am such an idiot? I should have seen this one coming! Good things don't happen to me. I have always had bad luck. It is about time it caught up to me. And go figure, it came around but instead of only hurting me, it got everyone I care about.

"Ok. I am sorry. I love you so much I don't want any thing else bad happen to you." I tried smiling again. And failed big time. I couldn't even see myself but I knew that a smile didn't come through.

"Hey nothing bad is going to happen. This is just a bad bruise." He said pointing to his while body. Even in the brink of death he is still trying to make me laugh.

"I am going to miss you." I said through a small laugh. My eyes began to water.

'You better stay in there tears!' I thought to them.

"Hey who says I am going anywhere?" He said in is raspy voice. His heart was getting weaker and weaker now.

"This is all going to blow over. By tomorrow I am going to have a new appointment set up with that manager and me and the guys will be back playing in the garage, waiting for the next show." He grabbed my hand and smiled. The smile that I love, that drives me insane.

"Yeah, you are right." I said and tried giving him a smile.

"But hey just incase you know this doesn't work out will you promise me something?" His breathe was getting short, he was using all his strength to have this last conversation with me.

"Anything." I said quickly, I don't trust my voice any more.

"Promise me you won't blame yourself. And that you will go out and get a new appointment and that you will keep in touch with the guys. They really love you." The last part came out as a whisper.

"Sure thing babe." I gave up on trying to conceal my tears.

"Natalie Marie Long promise me that you will always remember that I love you. Forever. And I will be with you." He had tears in his eyes now. Slipping from the cages they all came out like a waterfall.

"Always. I love you." I told him. he smiled that award winning smile and squeezed my hand. Took in one last breathe.

The monitor went flat. My heart stopped for a beat. Doctors and nurses came flooding in through the doors.

"Honey please get out." One of them said to me. They were going to try to bring him back. And I appreciate them for trying. But he gave his last good bye. He held on for me.

My tears were coming down heavily. My vision was blurred, like I didn't have my contacts in. I went to his bedroom window and watched as they all frantically tried to bring him back.

They finally gave up. And I watched the doctor record the time of death I whispered a message to him. I know he stayed around to hear it.

"I love you Ashton Fletcher Irwin, to the moon and back."