Maybe life isn't for everyone

Chapter 1

Anastesia's POV

They say falling in love is the best feeling. But I strongly disagree. Falling in love is pretty easy, but that love to last forever isn't quite easy. I was in love. Deeply in love when one day he just plans to walk away leaving me alone. Leaving me behind and moving on. These thoughts hit me everyday every time. Before sleeping, after waking up, while walking every time. I'm 17 years old and this isn't how I planned my life. Each one of us dream. Some dream big, some dream small. And hurts to see you're dream shattering right infront of you and all you could do is watch cry shatter and nothing else. These thoughts haunt me everyday.

I'm one of those famous girls in my school. People hate me. They envy me and they ruin me. I have best friends who talk behind my back but stay by my side. They care more about there reputation. As I was walking down my corridor today during the break, I heard some chick saying "That's Anastasia, look, she's the slut" I smiled and walked. I'm used to people calling me a slut. I've dated 3 guys and all of the turned out to be dating me for their use. Im not at fault. But all a girl needs is a respect. I'm used to this. My own friends call me a slut. Feeling of loneliness always is behind me. I have nobody. I had him but he had to leave. He had to leave me all alone and I couldn't just do anything.

I study in a girls school, so much drama. I act like a bitch to everyone so that no one messes with me but inside I'm scared. I'm scared of living. I'm scared of dying. I'm scared of talking. I'm scared. But in this world, I can't just be myself.

I can't just be myself. I can't. They say tears are very precious, we shouldn't waste them but if people don't care about the worth then tears are useless. My parents act very supportive but they keep taunting me. I'm not a perfect person. I need help. Loneliness is bad. Very bad. I need time. I can't always please everyone, I need time. I'm frustrated and no one understands me.

No one. And all I can think of is giving up. Giving up everything and everyone. And just to leave. Just to go far from everyone and everyone's bullshit. I want people to accept me the way I am. I don't know who I am.
Who am I ?