MY DISASTEROLOGY

I believe that I was put on this horrid earth for one reason and one reason only, to be tortured by the gods. Wow they must really want me to be depressed. At this point in my life, being happy isn't an option. I have to focus on being a loser and playing video games in my parents basement. what else would a 17 year old girl do. My name is Lee, and my life isn't even that. I call my life the disasterology. That basically means each day I live is pointless, and it would probably be more beneficial to everyone if I didn't exist. Aside from my disaster of a life, right now I am in the middle of my junior year. Yippee do da. It's pretty dumb. People never talk to me, so I have no friends.

Well I have a few. My friends are all guys. Loudmouth Mexicans that you want to slam against a brick so they'll shut up. Regardless to their idiocy they're my friends. Their names are Jaime, Tony, and Mike. Together we make a dream team.... nightmare team if you want me to be honest. My problem is that they're all so happy all the time, and I'm just... emotionless. They all know about my issues, well they think they know. I just like keeping to myself... It's easier that way. People say that shutting them out will make you feel worse. They tell you to open up, show your heart, make yourself feel better. Bull. The only thing opening up is doing, is making you vulnerable. We all end up dead in the end, right?

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My alarm wakes me up with a jolt, interrupting my reflective and violent thoughts. My mom works in the morning, so that leaves me alone with my thoughts. That's dangerous, but exactly what I want. I rub the crust off my eyes, grab my makeup bag, a nirvana band tee, and jeans before heading into the bathroom to get ready for school. My reflection looks crappy as ever. my green grey eyes are dull with bags under them. My brown hair with natural blonde highlight look ratty and dark, like a bird had made my hair its home. My body is very frail and petite, but my arms are strangely muscular, not even proportional to the rest of my body. I'm oddly built, which is why I hate myself. Wishing I could just be normal, I get dressed, straighten my hair, wash my face, and apply heavy mascara. Here goes another crap day. I walk down the street to meet Tony and Jaime at the bus stop. Shortly after I arrive, Tone and Jaime do too.

"Hey", I say quietly and shift back and forth.

"Hi," Tony replies back, "How is lee?"

"Feeling crappy as usual," I respond with a very fake smile.

"Do you want to talk?" Jaime replied with great concern.

I roll my eyes and turn the other way as I hear him sigh.

"You need to stop acting all sappy. I don't need your sympathy, I'm fine." I fire back with out fumbling a word.

"I'm fine is a girls biggest lie." Jaime almost whispers.

I turn back to him and cringe in amusement.

"Oh yea?," I retort, "And where did you hear that, tumblr?"

"Nooo?" Jaime sports a cheesy smile as I giggle.

After we're done laughing we all exchange awkward glances.

"So where's mike? He's normally with you!" I ask braking the silence.

"I'm honestly not sure," Tony says looking over his shoulder briefly, "He hasn't called me in a few days."

"That's strange." Jaime observes .

"Yea."

We stand in silence until the bus comes. We get on and hold tradition by all squeezing into one seat. The bus heads to a few more stops before reaching the last one. As we pull up to the stop sign I see Mike board the bus with a boy I've never seen before. His eyes are a shade of deep brown, they are the type of eyes anyone would get lost in. His hair is wavy and a lighter shade of brown, covered by a baseball cap. His skin is tan, hinting that he must be Hispanic. Does this mysterious boy even speak English? Why would I even care? He's wearing skinny jeans converse and a blue button up shirt. Mike and his friend make their way to the empty seats next to us.

"Hey!" Mike says cheerfully, "This is Vic!" Mike gestures to the boy who now has a name.

" Hey Vic I'm Tony, ant this is Jaime," Tone introduces completely ignoring me. I don't speak up though, I don't even care anyways. Mike, Tony, and Jaime continue their conversation like the jabber mouths they are. Vic stays silent. I look over at him, studying his features, taking in the new human that has just been presented before me. I know that sounds creepy, but one of my few hobbies happen to be people watching. If I see someone new, I study them. It's just a bad habit. I am broken from my pointless thought when Vic turns his head, and studies me right back. When I notice this I stiffen slightly as we make eye contact. His eyes seem to search my soul and pierce me like knives. Well knives make of silk since his eyes are so soft. He takes his bottom lip between his teeth and starts chewing at a fast pace. I raise my eyes brows in confusion. It's almost as if we're having a conversation through small movements. It's intriguing yet awkward to me. I stare him down again, then look back up at his eyes to see him scanning me from head to toe. When he finds my green- grey face holes again, my eyes widen as he silently chuckles and turns his head back front. I sigh and do the same. The rest of the ride is quiet for me. Neither Mike, Tony, or Jaime noticed the awkward exchange Vic and I just had. Every now then I see Vic scanning me out of the corner of my eye. I stiffen, and he seems to notice every time. The ride to school was only 10 minutes, but it felt like hours. The bus halts to a stop in front of the school as I gather my studious crap as quickly as possible, and rush out of the bus so I won't have to have another encounter with Vic. Once I'm out of the bus and walking I turn back, and make eye contact with Vic for a split second. I break the stare of and walk at a fast pace into the school, but the unnerving thing is that I could feel Vic's eyes on me the entire walk inside the building. Once I get in side I exhale a breath I've been holding since the bus ride, sprint to my

locker, and pray that I don't see Mike's mysterious friend for the rest of the day.

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