She was the one. You know the girl everyone admires. The one looked upon because her beauty was and is truly desirable. She stole the spotlight of any stage because her presence completely caught the eyes of all around her well at least to me.
We never really talked. I never bothered asking her name. I could only imagine her eyes. They glowed like the lone star in a cloudy sky. I was weak to them. You could tell she has been hurt before. I wanted to understand the pain she held. I wanted to be her world.
To me i wanted to read her. Know her and fall in love with her uncontrollably everyday, every night for the rest of our lives.
The thing is her name i never knew. I don't even think she noticed me. Not one bit. Till the day we made eye contact.
Its always those little things like how she tries to not smile with her teeth. Her eye glisten when the suns beams stream across her delightful face as she squints. I couldn't help but smile as she walked towards me with an embracing look. For that moment it felt like a movie scene fireworks behind her as she slowed in a sense flipped her hair looked down and back up. In that moment our eyes met for what felt like forever. I tried to look away but her beauty captivated me. A crush? I guess you could call it that. In my heart, in my mind, in my soul it was love at first sight.
You see i was just head of heels for her but we never engaged in conversation. That was the first time our eyes met and yet i was in a complete trans.
One day i actually said hi. Funny thing is she didn't say hi back. Did she not hear me or was i just a ghost to her? I wonder. Then my mind took over of course.
As she turned away stupidity & guilt overwhelmingly took over. How could i be so blind? She obviously had no feelings. She barely noticed me. My heart longed for that hi but my mind twisted what my heart wanted. Making me second guess every thought of us. Being an outcast. Over looked by the beautiful girl. She was the rose beautiful and vibrant surrounded by a million thorns never to be picked. I was the wilted flower no thorns. Everyone noticed her i was lucky to have someone ask me for a pencil. But thinking about it i couldn't get over her beauty. My heart ached for her touch. It screamed for her love. Her smile her hair her everything perfectly beautiful. Dreams of us together happy smiling, hopes it was all hopes. The question should i give up came time and time again. Give up she doesn't like you. She sees you as just a ghost. You'll never have the chance. I try to believe my doubts but the way she look at me. The look of mystery, passion, curiousity & love filled her eyes.
One day we actually held a conversation. We talked about everything and nothing. Stood up late to keep her company. She never heard me that day i said hello. After this day our friendship grew. As well as my deep longing to love her.
Somedays her eyes were completely filled with hurt. You could feel the coldness in which she carried. I never over stepped my boundaries. Only because love is patient. I always felt that tug on my heart to kiss her but i never couarge too.
After awhile i just got in my head to much over thinking everything. So i did what i do best and release my thoughts through art.
In class i'd draw endlessly. Love, heartbreak, pain three things about being a teen that will never change. I hated emotions all these damn hormones. I was cursed with the worst of them. Anger, happiness, the sleepless nights. You have to wonder what will it be like later in life. Will i ever find the one? Is it her? Then the thoughts of her forever giving heart. Her warm touch. Lovely smile fill my raging mind. Unconditional love for her fills my adolescent brain. I question the thought of us. We'd be perfect. I couldn't regret her. I could barely focus on school. At home all i thought about was texting her. I wanted to see how she was, make her smile. I didn't want to be bothersome but i never wanted to lose her attention.
