"Byunghun, don't go ..."
*What was going on!?*
He took Chunji's hands and loosened his grip around L.Joe's waist.
"Chunji-ah, what does this mean?" He turned just to face a crying Chunji.
Chunji's tears rolled down his face like a waterfall. Suddenly, his legs collapsed under him and he fell to the ground, too fast for L.Joe to catch him.
Chunji sat there on the floor and just cried. L.Joe kneeled down beside Chunji and started to stroke his back. After a few minutes, he felt like he had to say something.
"Chunji-ah... do you wanna tell me what's wrong?"
*Maybe this was the wrong way to ask, but it was the most direct.*
Chunji looked up at him with his big, wet puppy eyes.
"Me! I'm the problem! I can't control my feelings! This is wrong! Males shouldn't be together! I must be sick..." Chunji looked down at the floor again and more tears escaped from his eyes.
*He carried this burden all alone, with no one to help him talk about it.*
"Chunji-ah.. You are not sick, you just feel new things.. There is nothing wrong with that." He countinued to stroke Chunji's back.
"But... My feelings for you ... They were supposed to brotherly, not... thid kind of love.. Why couldn't i just love you like a brother?!"
Chunji started to scream while crying, and L.Joe sat down right beside him and placed Chunji's head on his own shoulder.
"Just cry yeobo... Just cry.." L.Joe stroked Chunji's hair and whispered sweet comforting words.
Chunji screamed and cried for at least 20 minutes before he calmed down.
"Do you feel better?" He was still stroking Chunji's hair.
He felt Chunji nodding, and he smiled a little.
"Good, now tell me about your feelings. How long have you felt this way?"
He knew that this was maybe to hard for Chunji right now, but the boy needed to talk things out with someone, and he wanted to be that someone.
"Well... I first got them right before we debuted, when we first met..." This shocked him a lot.
*Did Chunji like me for over three years?!*
"But I tried to push the feelings away and told myself that I was just lonely and needed a brother. So, I started to hang out and help you... I finally felt like a part of something. Since I had just broken up with my girlfriend from school, i used you as a replacement to fill the emptiness in my heart... And I know that was wrong of me, but I just needed someone or something to take up the loneliness. Then suddenly things changed... We debuted and people started to make couples in the group... And I was placed with both you and Niel."
L.Joe kept on looking at Chunji who was staring at the wall.
He kept on stroking Chunji's hair while he was telling his story.
"'ChunJoe', what a beautiful pairing name, don't you think?" Chunji looked up at him with tears in his eyes and smiled. He look back at the wall and contiued.
"Then, all my feelings just screamed at me...everytime we touched and everytime we talked or hugged my heartbeat started to race. I was in love with you and this tore me down, but yet we continued to do fanservice and everybody loved ChunJoe just as must as I did. But then I realized that we could never be together, so pushed myself away from you and started to hang out with Ricky instead... He was so kind to me and took care of me everytime he saw that I was about to break down because of you..." Chunji just kept on looking at the wall and sniffed once in a while.
*He was that heartbroken because of me? Why didn't I notice this before?...*
"So, I tried to keep a distance between us, but then the Summer Special album came out and I just ran back to your side, and you welcomed me with open arms as always. I fell back into my love hole, and didn't regret until No.1 came out... It was to much for me and my feelings started to show in the dorm and the other member started to ask what was wrong all the time. I couldn't handle it until the day at the dancing studio where I kind of confessed to you, and we slept beside each other.... that day and night.. It was the happiest moment of my life, until the next day when I realized that we could not be together.. And guys should not be together, so I made space between us again... And I'm so sorry about everything, Byunghun ... I love you so much .." Chunji was now crying again.
L.Joe slowly got up on his knees and gave Chunji a hug.
"I love you too, Chanhee.." He placed his lips on Chunji's and enjoyed the moment.
"Nothing is wrong with this yeobo, we just need to be true to ourselves! That's the only way we can be happy." He smiled to Chunji and hugged him tight before he let go and reached out for Chunji's hand.
Chunji grabbed his arm and got up. They slowly walked towards L.Joe's bedroom. It was time to sleep the bad memories away.
