Heartbreak

Prologue.

When I lost him, it was in that moment that I questioned whether I had ever actually experienced real pain or not.

"Just hold me.." I whimpered, clinging to his chest. I didn't want him to go. "Just a little longer. Please. I need you." The tears wouldn't stop. How could they? Why would they? I was losing him. He was slipping through my fingers like soap... I couldn't hold onto him; he wouldn't let me.

"T..." He whispered, trying to push me away. "Please don't make this harder than it already is." I wondered if the pain I heard in his voice was real.

"Harder? For who? You?" God, it hurt to yell. Everything hurt. My head, my hands, my heart. "You're the one leaving me for a whore."

That word pained him, but it was the truth. Rayan Michaels, the girl who was known by the number of blowjobs she'd given in the school parking lot, was the girl he was leaving me for. The girl who he had history with, the girl who broke his heart once before, the girl who was going to break his heart again.

"Please, Terra. Please don't do this."

"Do what? Try to make you realize you're making a mistake? Fight for you? Is that not something you're used to, Keegan? Has she never begged or pleaded for you to stay? Of course she hasn't... She's never actually had to fight for you, has she? You were always there. Every time. You answered every call, every text. I should have known." I shut my eyes and paused for a second, letting the anger build up inside me before screaming the last line again. Maybe it seemed like I was screaming at him, but truthfully I was doing it to myself. I was angry and hurt that he was leaving me, but I was more angry with myself for not seeing it coming... for thinking we were okay.

"I can't do this with you right now. I really can't." He pushed himself up from the couch. His cheeks were wet from tears that he didn't wipe. As I stood up with him, he turned away from me.

"Please, we can still make this work. I need us to make this work." I said shakily, grabbing his hands. I couldn't handle him saying no. I couldn't handle not being with him. I was willing to forgive him.

He let go of my hands and without any hesitation he said, "I understand that you need me, Terra, but I love her. I love her in a way that I have never loved you." And that was the moment I knew I had lost him. Who knew that someone could tear your heart to shreds with twelve simple words?

"Get out." I stated dryly. He looked surprised with his eyes wide and mouth gaped open and he shifted slightly. "Just get out, you idiot. Get out." I screamed, pushing his chest. That took more energy than I imagined; I could hardly stand. It took everything in me not to fall down to the floor, crawl into a ball, and scream at the top of my lungs right in front of him. I was overwhelmed with emotions. I was sad, angry, confused, hurt... My heart ached. I felt empty, like everything I had worked on, and fought for, for the past year just crumbled and vanished leaving me with nothing but a broken heart.