Half a Heart

Chapter 4

“Hey Steph” he says, as he swiftly approaches me.

“Zayn, hey” I can feel my heart instantly, speeding up. He looks down, then takes a short breath, before speaking. 

“I think you’re a great girl…and I would love to hang out and get to know you” he states to me, with all the confidence in the world. I am caught off guard once again today.

“Uh did we not just do a get-to-know exercise?” I question. I can’t do anything with him and I know it.

He chuckles “Yeah...but I wanna know you” he steps closer. Thoughts about last year are rushing through my mind. 

“Soo Let’s hang out…Okay?” he looks to me for a response. It seems like he’s into me. But why? I’m an embarrassing, non-attractive, boring person. I am the last option for any guy.

There’s nothing likeable about me.

I look to Zayn, my thoughts disappearing. He’s waiting for something…

“Um yeah yeah sure” I rush the words out, without thinking.

“Okay” he grins. And a smile froms back at his flawless face, and perfectly styled hair. “you wanna walk, yeah?” he says…or asks.

“Okay” I hesitate. He nods his head towards the back of the school, not too far from where we are standing now. Over there you can see most of the snow. All of the rest of the school property is clear of snow from the maintenance. But over here, where the wood chips and leaf-less trees lie, where the small plies of snow becomes visible, where the due is everywhere, is a place I’ve always liked.

I said I would hang out with Zayn. Of course I am aware that is not a good idea at all. But he is so nice and friendly. I sense he has only good intentions. I'll just make sure nothing happens, that we are just friends. 

We walk in silence, breathing in the fresh cold air. Until he speaks.  “I bet I can beat you in tag” Zayn randomly claim, holding a smirk on his lips.

“What makes you think that” I arch an eyebrow.

“Well you seem like a pretty fast girl but I bet I can out run you” my head snaps behind me. I heard someone walking. Who- “what’s wrong?” he must have seen the uneasy expression set on my face.

“Nothing I thought I heard someone coming” as soon as the words leave my lips I hear my name. I turn around to see my cousin Matt. What the hell is he doing here? “Matt, why are you here?” I stride towards him.

”I came to pick up a friend” he eyes me carefully. “what are you doing?” he gesture’s to Zayn and frowns.

“N-nothing I’m leaving with Valerie, bye Zayn” I panic just a little bit and quickly start to walk away, and Matt follows. I have a feeling he gave Zayn a dirty look.

What if that was my dad…

“Ill see you later Steph” Matt says from behind me.

“Bye” I don’t turn around to say a proper goodbye. I hear his footsteps as he walks away. I immediately let out a breath of relief.

I cannot hang out with Zayn, what am I thinking?

-----

When I open the front door to my house my dad is leaning with his hands on the table. He’s pissed. Are they fighting again? Why did I have to come home to this?

“Who the hell is Zayn!?” my dad exclaims. What? How does he… Matt he told him.

“Who is he!?”

“He is just a guy I met at school” I say, timidly, as I shut the door.

“Some little punk from school!? You don’t know this guy, he could be anyone!” he spits as I stare at him not daring to say a word.

“Did he try and hit on you?”

“No dad!” I raise my voice and I regret it the second it comes out. He steps closer to me.

“He better not make one fucking move do you understand?”

I am breathing heavily and my heart is beating. “Yes” I gulp.

My mom looks at me with an emotion that I never seen before, something in her eyes as they slightly water. But she looks away. Before I know it my dad disappears into the living room. I hurry upstairs. I need a shower.

The minute I turn the shower knob to off is when I hear them. The loud noise of the shower plus my singing had blocked out my parents. They are fighting. I need to go to sleep so I don’t have to listen to this. I never want to listen to this. I quickly put on my sweats and a long shirt I don’t care about to sleep in. It’s raining tonight, I smile to myself. I knew it would. The rain is so tranquil, still, and soothing. When I was little I would sit at my window and watch the rain fall for hours. Its like my medicine for when I become angry or upset. I climb into bed and reach for my iPod for music. “Shit” Its dead. That is just great. I pull my comforter over my face, and the rain gets louder. I just realized something I can’t hear them through the rain. As if it were seconds later I am drifted off to sleep. 

------

As I walk through the frosty, unwelcoming air, I am stopped by a familiar face. She’s...my neighbor. She lives two houses down from me. She steps to me and the brunette touches my shoulder with her hand, and holds a container in her additional palm.

“Hey Steph, my mom made you some of her whoopi pies. She told me to tell you she sends love.” the pretty, longed haired girl smiles as she retaliates her mother’s message.

“Oh thanks a lot I really appreciate this.” I thank her as I accept the container from her grasp.

“How have you been?” she asks her smile fading.

“I’ve been okay” I sigh.

“After that stunt with your dad we haven’t really talked at all.” she states the truth. “we should get together soon” she smiles.

“Yeah we should” I smile back. Rebecca has always been a sweetheart. I’ve known since I’ve moved here but we are not best friends or anything, though hanging with her sometime would be cool.

“Yeah so I gotta make it to class before Mrs Hall goes all ape shit, bye Steph” she laughs and waves, while walking into the school building.

“Bye thanks again” I return the wave with a smile. 

My phone vibrates in my back pocket and I retrieve it to view the text message.

-Valerie

Not coming today, still sick :(

I read the text in my head. Valerie has been bedridden sick since the day before school started. It sucks she had to miss the first day of the new semester but it is what it is. I just hope she gets well soon. I miss her. 

-Me

Get better soonnnn, love you :*

I send the message and continue walking to my first class. But something or someone is nawing at my brain.

I can’t help looking for that one person.

Zayn.