Lost

Chapter 1

I'm living because I can't die. I don't know what to do. I'm suffering more than anything. I'm lost...

The light from the window blinds me as I open my eyes. I hear the birds chirp in symphony. I smile. Then I sigh. How can a morning be so calming when I live in fear of opening my eyes and breathing again?

I continue to lay in bed and overthink, a terrible habit of mine. I turn on my side to look at the clock on my bed side. It reads 6:10am.

"I should get up"

I jump out of bed despite my lack of energy. I disconnect my phone from the charger and tap on spotify as I start to do my morning routine to go to school.

.......

I stop and stand still before entering school. Why must I continue to go to school? I think to myself as I continue my walk. I walk through the hallways, passing the crowds of students as they gather to gossip about the current rumors. Suddenly, I hear  screaming from across the school yard.

"Ahhh Oppa!"

"Saranghae!"

"Notice me Senpai!"

I look up to see the source of all the screaming. It was BTS. They are the school's popular boys that all the girls dream of dating. I watch how the boys struggle to get to class. Just then, one of them locks eyes with me. I sigh and look down. I turn around and continue walking. I wonder why he looked at me when there is nothing to see in me.

I arrive at my classroom and my classmates just stare at me and start to whisper. I don't understand, what there is to see in me? I walk towards my desk and lay my head down and continue to over think about what just happened. Someone taps my shoulder. I look up.

"Gwenchanha?" It was Seo Ye rin.

No I am not. Please help me...

"Yes I am. Thank you for worrying about me"

I purposely made an awkward silence so she would leave. Soon enough she did.

I never tell anyone that I am hurting. I just isolate myself. In the past, I had many friends, or so I thought of them as friends. I always had people approach me and want to be friends, but their intentions were never sincere. Many of them only care about status and being popular. They would cling to you and force you to hang out with them only to start talking shit behind your back the next day. One day I caught a group of girls saying terrible things about me that were not even true and my "BFF" spilling my secrets I had trusted her with. After that day I decided to isolate myself and push people away. I am scared of being hurt more than what I am already...

The classroom door swings open and in come the seven boys known as BTS, interrupting my thoughts. Aish they walk in making so much noise. I sigh. I look up again when I see the same boy from earlier looking at me. Just then the bell rings signalling the start of class. When I thought the bell saved me from the awkwardness of being surrounded by people I cursed for the hour long of history class ahead of me.

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I apologize if it's not good as other fan fictions for this is my first story. I decided to start something new and I really hope the results will be a story you can enjoy reading. (^w^) 

-JG