I woke with a start as I remembered the past occurrences. I desperately looked around for it but, I was alone at last.
The door to the familiar room opened and my heart sped up. I was startled by the beating. I clutched my chest as I panted.
"You're awake." He smiled.
Atsushi.
I looked up aching to see him. His beautiful eyes stared into my [e/c] ones. The male pulled up a chair next to the bed I laid in.
"I'm so glad you're okay [Y/n]." He sounded relieved.
"Thanks." I said, my voice hoarse and dry. I tried to clear my throat. When I raised my hand to my neck, I felt fabric like gauze and tape. My eyes widened. I remember clawing at it.
Am I it?
"Here, you should try and drink some more water. I don't want you to become dehydrated." Atsushi worriedly said.
I downed the cold liquid quickly to moisten my dry throat. An awkward silence sat between the two of us. I clutched the disposable paper cup until it crumpled into a small ball in my fist.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.
"No." I ordered.
I could tell my words had hurt Atsushi. He flinched at the harshness of my tone but, nodded and stood up slowly.
"Do you want me to stay?" He questioned me with a hint of hope in his voice. I shook my head no, not maintaining eye contact with him. I didn't want to see his expression.
Liar.
I instantly regret my choice as he closed the door behind him. I could hear it in my head. It spoke venomous words to me, pleading me to do unspeakable things.
Listen to me. LISTEN.
I continued to block out its voice but, it only became angrier. I closed my eyes feeling a migraine coming on. I sighed and opened once again to notice a small black splotch on my palm. I rubbed it with my thumb but, it didn't go away.
It began to spread across my skin. It acted almost like a liquid but, I couldn't wipe it off. I crawled up my forearms and I rubbed them hoping it to come off.
I then did something surprising.
I began to laugh.
Not out of amusement but, out of madness. My fingernails dug into my forehead, scratching and breaking the first couple of layers of skin. I kept scratching even when I saw red liquid on my fingertips.
I didn't even notice I was crying until my tears dripped into my fresh wounds. The saltiness of them burnt immensely.
I felt a sharp pain on my cheek and my mind was no longer cloudy. I heard someone breathing hard. I blinked and saw Atsushi shaking me by grabbing my shoulders. I immediately slapped his hands away.
"Don't touch me. I hate you." I hissed.
Atsushi's eyes widened. His face only showed pain and I was scared because I felt absolutely no remorse.
What happened to my feelings for him?
"[Y/n], I need to treat your woun-"
"Get out." I growled.
"But [Y/n]..." he begged.
"Leave." I grumbled, laying down and pulled the blankets over my head.
I didn't feel pain, I only felt numb.
It wasn't long until Atsushi had sent Yosano in to bandage up my arms. She then told me that I would be under constant surveillance. The members would switch shifts watching me like a child.
A certain brunette waltzed into the room with an intimidating look adorned on his face. His cold stare sent shivers down my spine. He took a seat, crossing his arms.
"Can't someone else watch me?" I snapped.
Dazai leaned over, his face close in proximity to my own. He then smirked, raising his hand and bringing it down to my face. I clutched my now bruised cheek.
"Cut it out." He spoke in a dark tone that I had never heard. "If you don't stop this bullshit now then, I'll gladly give you over to the mafia no matter what the others say."
Tears slowly dropped onto the bedsheets. I laughed halfheartedly.
"I don't know what's wrong with me." I stated. "Dazai, what kind of crazy am I?"
I noticed how pained his eyes were. He had made a mistake like this before.
